Memorial Day is a great day across America — to get a deal on a mattress.
You don’t want to run out of meat on Memorial Day. I ran out of meat and had to take emergency measures. That’s how I went from six ferrets to five.
CBS has an annual Memorial Day tradition — of not giving me a day off.
There’s only one 4-day weekend, and that’s Thanksgiving. Would it have killed the Pilgrims to invite the Indians over for dinner more than once in a year?