Monday Jan 17 2011
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Top honors went to the Facebook movie, “The Social Network.” It won because it got the most "likes."
Two credit rating firms say the U.S. credit rating has remained at AAA. Aren’t we like $14 trillion in debt? Wouldn’t “LOL” be more like it?
Starbucks introduced its biggest drink ever: the 31-ounce “trenta.” The cost: $1 million.
Congratulations to the new Miss America, 17-year-old Teresa Scanlan. You can tell she’s still a teenager by her talent — texting while driving.
Arnold Schwarzenegger says that being governor of California cost him at least $200 million in lost movie roles. Movie-goers everywhere say it was worth it.
Brett Favre has officially filed his retirement papers with the NFL. He was able to do it quickly by pulling up to the NFL’s “Brett Favre Retirement” window.
Starbucks is going to offer an extra large drink size known as “trenta.” It’s an Italian word meaning “six more ounces of burnt coffee.”
A woman in Los Angeles gave birth to healthy baby on the shoulder of the 605 freeway. It’s amazing what people will do just to use the car pool lane.
Late Show with David Letterman
There’s already talk that Ricky Gervais won’t be invited back to the Golden Globes. Hey, welcome to the club.
Congratulations to Cher, who won a Golden Globe for best original song. At this point, that song is the only original thing she has.
The Republican National Committee elected Reince Priebus as their new chairman. “Reince Priebus” is also the name of a car driven by Jay Leno.
Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Ways To Mispronounce Reince Priebus
Rented Prius — now, wait a minute, we already did that. How does this happen?
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Piers Morgan’s show premiered on CNN, and his first guest was Oprah Winfrey. That lady came across as warm and inviting — and Oprah did OK too.
Piers did a great job differentiating himself from Larry King. He didn’t wear suspenders and he stayed awake for the whole show.
Apparently, Piers Morgan made a bet with Oprah on who would be the first to get Michael Vick on their show. That’s not so hard. Just lure him in with a trail of puppies.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon