The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

President Obama made a surprise visit to Afghanistan. Nobody knew he was going — except for the WikiLeaks guy.

Obama was going to have a meeting with Afghan President Karzai about the country’s corruption, incompetence, and the wasting of American tax dollars. And that’s just what Karzai was going to lecture Obama about.

What kind of name is WikiLeaks? It sounds like a Hawaiian guy that’s incontinent.

Nigerian authorities are charging Dick Cheney in a bribery scandal involving Halliburton. You know it’s bad when guys in Nigeria are accusing you of a scam.

 

Conan

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Late Show with David Letterman

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It was this time in 1933 that prohibition was repealed. Prohibition was such a good idea. Making something illegal always stops people from using it.

It couldn’t be too much fun being a cop during prohibition. After a big bust, how do you celebrate?

I can’t imagine Hollywood having prohibition. David Hasselhoff would have eaten at the table and Mel Gibson’s phone calls would have been rubbish.

Prohibition even reached Scotland. A record number of people stopped drinking alcohol, and life completely changed for a whole afternoon.

 

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

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Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

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