Skip to main content
JokesPageHeader
     
Friday Oct 15 2010

The Tonight Show Starring with Leno

Vice President Joe Biden told The New York Times that President Obama has asked him to run again in 2012. The bad news? Nobody is asking Obama yet.

A New York City artist kept a McDonald's happy meal on her kitchen table, untouched, for six months. It did not decompose at all. It looks the exactly the same. In fact, the toy actually decomposed quicker than the hamburger.

For the second year in a row, people on Social Security will not get a cost of living increase. So more bad news for Brett Favre.



The Tonight Show Starring with Letterman

“Jackass 3D” just opened. It’s the life story of New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino.

“The Mentalist” has psychic powers. He can tell the difference between “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and “Real Housewives of Orange County.”

Some cruise line is going to recreate the voyage of the Titanic. What could possibly go wrong?

Red onions are supposed to be good for lowering cholesterol. They say that if you eat one red onion a day, you’ll live alone, but you’ll live longer.



The Tonight Show Starring with Ferguson

In “Jackass 3D,” they play tetherball with a beehive. Which is fun, unless you’re a bee.

Philosophy is a struggle to answer the most basic questions in life such as “Why are we here;” “Where do we come from;” and “What the hell was Brett Favre thinking?”

One of Nietzsche’s beliefs was that every person has different sides like free will versus destiny, good versus evil, or Mary Kate versus Ashley.

I don’t believe in nihilism. I’m in de-nihilism.



The Tonight Show Starring with Kimmel

Rerun



The Tonight Show Starring with Jimmy Fallon

Starting in January, couples can actually get married at McDonald’s in Hong Kong. I’m not saying those marriages won’t work, but when have you been to a McDonald’s and not regretted it one hour later?

A man in India just moved into a billion-dollar home with 27 floors. It’s really hard to make excuses when friends ask to crash on his couch. He’s like, “Oh, ordinarily I’d totally let you stay, but I already have like 2,000 friends staying with me.”

Robert Redford was knighted in France yesterday. I don’t want to brag, but I was also knighted. Which was a huge honor because usually, Medieval Times will only do that on your birthday.

One of the 33 Chilean miners revealed that they all joked about cannibalism while they were trapped. He was like, “If you don't believe me, ask the 34th guy — I mean . . . never mind.”


Recommended
Free Newsmax E-Alerts
Email:
Country:
Zip Code:
Privacy: We never share your email.
 
TOP

Interest-Based Advertising | Do not sell or share my personal information

Newsmax, Moneynews, Newsmax Health, and Independent. American. are registered trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc. Newsmax TV, and Newsmax World are trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc.

NEWSMAX.COM
America's News Page
© Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved
Download the Newsmax App
NEWSMAX.COM
America's News Page
© Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved