Friday Sep 17 2010
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
In her fight against childhood obesity, first lady Michelle Obama is urging communities to make fresh produce more available to young people, even in liquor stores. If your kid is hanging out at the liquor store, obesity is the least of your problems.
An openly gay Saudi Arabian diplomat is seeking asylum here in the U.S. His reason: he’s an openly gay diplomat from Saudi Arabia.
The French Senate has outlawed the burka, giving hope to U.S. lawmakers that one day soon, we will outlaw the Snuggie.
A man is trying to organize “zeppelins, blimps, and other dirigibles for a race around the world.” This would be a huge story if it was 1907.
Late Show with David Letterman
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
A man in Texas has created deep-fried beer. In my younger days, we had a word for a man like this: genius.
Kids don’t want to learn anything from movies — except that vampires have feelings, too.
“The Scarlet Letter” is a book about a woman who commits adultery and is forced to wear a scarlet letter near her shoulder, like the “L” worn by Laverne in “Laverne & Shirley.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Joaquin Phoenix’s two-year stint of acting crazy and weird was all a performance for a new movie that he has coming out. When he heard that, Mel Gibson was like, “Me too?”
Sarah Palin made a high profile appearance at a Republican fundraising dinner in Iowa. She didn’t actually say she’s running for president. She just winked it in Morse code.
Carl Paladino, New York’s Republican candidate for governor, said that Manhattan is home to smug, self-important, pampered, liberal elitists. He sounds just like my butler.
Paris Hilton rescued 20 rabbits from a pet shop when she found out they would be fed to snakes. Then a snake rescued the 20 rabbits after it found out they would be adopted by Paris Hilton.