President Obama was in New Orleans for the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Halfway through his speech, FEMA finally showed up.
President Obama said he can’t walk around with his birth certificate plastered on his forehead. Apparently he was reacting to new polls that show 1 in 5 Kenyans now believe he was born in Hawaii.
Paris Hilton told police that she thought the cocaine found in her purse was gum. Well, she also thought her last CD was music.
Congress is very upset with Roger Clemens because they feel like they were lied to. Good! Now they know how we feel.
In New York City, there’s a shortage of burial plots. At Grant’s Tomb, Grant now has a roommate.
Paris Hilton was arrested with cocaine and she claimed that she thought it was chewing gum. She was charged with possession of less than an ounce of common sense.
Tiger Woods’ divorce is final and he bought an apartment in New York City. It’s making New Yorkers forget about the whole mosque thing.
Tiger Woods just bought an apartment in Manhattan. What better place to practice golf and resist the temptations of single life?
New York is facing an infestation of disgusting and impossible-to-kill pests. That’s right, the cast of “Jersey Shore” is in town.
Millions of bed bugs were found inside the Empire State Building. That’s one step too far, bed bugs.
Bed bugs can live up to a year without feeding. They’re like supermodels.
A new study found that heavy drinkers outlive non-drinkers, but the ways they die are far more embarrassing.
Paris Hilton was arrested for cocaine possession. This charge could be serious. She may face up to six months of being talked about again.
Justin Bieber is performing at the state fair after canceling his last show due to an “illness.” Doctors now have the zit under control.