Roger Clemens was indicted by a grand jury for allegedly lying to Congress. You don’t lie to Congress unless you’re in Congress.
Lindsay Lohan will supposedly get a million dollars for her first interview after prison. I need to start driving drunk into houses.
A new poll found that 1 in 5 Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim. Remember during the campaign, when he was criticized for belonging to Reverend Wright’s church? What happened to that?
President Obama is staying at Martha’s Vineyard, which has an obstructed view of the Atlantic Ocean, and just happens to point towards Mecca.