The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Rerun

 

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

 

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It’s Memorial Day weekend. Finally, I can break out my white Speedos.

“Prince of Persia” is the big movie for Memorial Day weekend. It’s based on an old Atari game which — how can I put this delicately — sucked.

Persia is actually modern-day Iran, whose president has declared that there are no gays in his country. That’s impossible — who plans the parades?

 

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Rerun

 

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

President Obama flew to Louisiana to see the Gulf cleanup effort firsthand. And it was just like President Bush’s trips to Louisiana – except Obama actually landed.

Obama called the Gulf Coast oil spill an assault on our shores and their people. And then he said the same thing about fat dudes in Speedos.

The list of the world’s best airlines came out yesterday, and not a single American airline made it in the top 10. You know who was really surprised by this news? No one.

An American adventurer strapped himself to a bunch of helium balloons and floated from England to France. Immediately afterwards, people in Mexico asked "Exactly how many balloons?"