About 30,000 people showed up at the White House for the annual Easter egg roll. Or as Fox News called it, a “socialist free food giveaway.”
Kids are so spoiled today. You know how they hunt for Easter eggs? They use Google Earth.
This was the holy weekend, so Apple’s Steve Jobs came down from the mountain with a new tablet under his arm.
This iPad thing is so advanced, it actually has an airbag in it for when you crash your car while surfing the Internet.
There was a 7.2 earthquake in Mexico and we could feel it here in L.A. Parts of me are still jiggling.
The quake really messed up our studio. It caused like $3,000 worth of improvements.
During the quake, I did what I was supposed to do, I immediately ran into the bathroom and cried. Stop, drop, and cry.
The tremors lasted for more than a minute and people were really scared. You couldn’t tell though, with all the Botox.
A 7.2 earthquake originating in Mexico struck on Easter Sunday. There wasn’t much damage, which was good because I wouldn’t want to be killed wearing a pink pastel shirt.
The Obamas hosted the Easter egg roll at the White House. Dozens of children gathered on the White House lawn to roll eggs toward a finish line as the president cheered them on and Republicans tried to block them.
Tiger Woods gave a press conference ahead of his return to the Masters. I kept waiting for something to happen and nothing really did. It was a lot like watching golf.
Tiger Woods gave a major press conference, and he said he’s going to start appreciating his fans more. Although that was kind of how he got into trouble in the first place.
Tiger’s getting ready for the Masters, so today he played a practice round with golf legend Fred Couples. Of course, Tiger only showed up because he heard there’d be some “couples action.”
President Obama threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals game. Obama took a short wind-up and threw a high, arcing pitch. Democrats saw the pitch as moderately close to the middle, while Republicans are calling it “way to the left and possibly socialist.”
A Jet Blue flight leaving Newark had to return to the airport after takeoff when an engine cover fell off the plane. Passengers on the plane don't know what was worse — having an engine cover blow off mid-flight or having to go back to Newark.