Monday Mar 29 2010
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
President Obama made a surprise visit to Afghanistan this weekend. I guess after 14 months in Washington, he wanted to go somewhere where there was less fighting.
It was a pretty quick trip. In fact, it happened so fast, Joe Biden didn’t even get a chance to say something stupid about it.
Well, the people have spoken, but healthcare passed anyway.
Osama bin Laden has released a new audio tape in which he threatens to kill Americans, as opposed to his earlier new age, motivational tapes.
Late Show with David Letterman
President Obama made a surprise visit to the folks in Afghanistan. It turns out he was shooting an episode of “Undercover Boss.”
The president met with Afghanistan’s President Hamid Karzai. Both presidents agreed that we have to work to wipe out terror networks like al-Qaida, the Taliban, and Fox News.
Obama demanded more accountability, a crackdown on corruption, and a better government. And if it works in Afghanistan, he’s going to try it in the United States.
John McCain and Sarah Palin are out campaigning again. Well, it worked so well the last time.
Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Highlights of President Obama's Trip To Afghanistan
The welcoming chants of "Death to America!"
Using miles to get bumped up to business class
Picking up sexy negligee for Michelle at "Mahboba's Secret"
Playing a little 1-on-1 with Hamid Karzai
Seeing "Hot Tub Time Machine" dubbed in Pashto
Military demonstration on new secret weapon: ground-to-air-goat
The splendor of Kabul in the springtime
Catching Jon Lovitz at new Kandahar comedy club "Laffghanistan"
Spotting a confused John McCain arguing with a falafel
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Sarah Palin has been campaigning for select Republicans including John McCain, who’s in a tough Senate race in Arizona. How does he introduce her? “And now the young woman who cost me the presidency . . . ”
The first of Apple’s much anticipated iPads are supposed to be delivered Saturday. Unfortunately, the demand is so high, they’ve had to push their pre-order deliveries back to April 12, just in time to announce the iPad II.
Snoop Dogg was on “Larry King Live” the other night. I’m still not sure why, but it was great.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Happy Birthday to Lady Gaga. This weekend, she turned 24 years old. Her friends planned to jump out and yell “Surprise,” but it turns out the plant they were hiding behind was actually Lady Gaga.
A 74-year-old man just became the oldest father in Britain after his wife had a baby boy. They even named the baby after him: "Grandpa."
A 96-year-old man in Taiwan just got married to a 30-year-old woman. They say what makes it work is having similar interests. She likes going to movies and doing crossword puzzles, and he likes doing anything that's not dying.
On Saturday, two Mets fans became the first couple to have their wedding reception at Citi Field. You could tell it was the Mets’ Citi Field because when the bride tossed the bouquet, nobody caught it.