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Tuesday Mar 16 2010

The Tonight Show Starring with Leno

I hope everyone remembered to turn their clocks ahead, unless you’re a Democrat working on healthcare, in which case you should probably turn the clock back a year.

Toyota has found significant inconsistencies in the story of the runaway Prius. That’s really something, when a car dealer accuses you of lying.

Government officials are warning spring breakers about violence from Mexican drug gangs. They say to stay out of L.A.

According to researchers in London, babies are born to dance, and they greatly prefer music to speech. The music the like best is Lady Gaga.



The Tonight Show Starring with Letterman

Some New York City cab drivers are overcharging as much as $4.00 a trip. If you think you’ve been unfairly charged, just haggle with the driver. They love that.

The world’s smallest man passed away. He’s the guy that never sat in front of me at the movies.

Congress is getting ready to vote on President Obama’s healthcare bill. It’s going to be a close vote. House Democrats say it could be a real tickle fight.

Sarah Palin is campaigning with John McCain for his reelection in Arizona. There’s an unbeatable combination.



The Tonight Show Starring with Letterman Top Ten

“Yo.”

“I’m following Wolf Blitzer on Twitter.”

“Let’s go to Gap and buy underpants.”

“Shalom and happy Purim to all.”

“Instead of eating Haagen Dazs, I may as well apply it directly to my thighs.”

“In the words of Ernie Anastos, keep plucking that chicken.”

“John Mayer is like sexual napalm.”

“Could you please pass the Rice-A-Roni?”

“My CD ‘More Malice’ is available March 23. And if you illegally download it, I’m coming to your house.”

“I’m just a simple old hockey mom from Alaska. You betcha.”



The Tonight Show Starring with Ferguson

Rerun



The Tonight Show Starring with Kimmel

Rerun



The Tonight Show Starring with Jimmy Fallon

Mike Tyson is going to star in a new show on Animal Planet about the sport of pigeon racing. So at least we've finally answered the question, "What planet is Mike Tyson on?"

Facebook is going to open its first offices in India. Indian Facebook is a little different. Under “Help,” it just says “Seriously? You live in India. You fix it yourself.”

C-SPAN is uploading 23 years of video on the Internet. Or, if you want to get the sensation of watching 23 years of C-SPAN, just watch 2 minutes of C-SPAN.


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