Friday Mar 05 2010
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
The House has passed a $15 billion jobs bill. The bad news is, all of those new jobs are fixing Toyotas.
Just two days after being told by his doctor to cut down on his cholesterol, President Obama went to a Savannah restaurant and had a meal that included fried chicken and blueberry pudding. That’s why he’s in favor of healthcare, he’s going to need it.
Former President Bush is writing a book about how he made decisions in the White House. The book has two chapters: heads and tails.
New York Gov. David Paterson is under investigation for accepting free Yankees tickets to the World Series. If found guilty, he could be sentenced to free Mets tickets.
Late Show with David Letterman
My accountant says I could get a huge tax break if I considered the show to be “church.” Well, some nights it does get very quiet here.
Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be hosting the Academy Awards. That is, if Jay Leno lets them.
Yes, they have two hosts this year for the Academy Awards. Who says Obama isn’t creating jobs?
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Everyone in L.A. is gearing up for the Oscars. The limos are running, the champagne is popping, the Botox is flowing.
I’ve got Oscar fever too, and I need to sleep it off. Luckily, nothing puts me to sleep like the Oscars.
Sarah Palin is getting her own reality show. It’s called, “So You Think You Can See Russia.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
How many people are just here because your dad wouldn’t let you land planes at JFK?
There are actually 10 movies nominated for Best Picture this year. “Avatar,” “The Hurt Locker,” and the eight losers.
Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” came out today. Of course, one of the main characters is the Cheshire Cat, a shady character known for getting into trouble — or as we’d call that in New York, “the governor."
RadarOnline is reporting that Elin Nordegren is moving back in with Tiger. And that makes the most sense — I mean, no one can live off just half of $600 million.