Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

 

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

The U.S. Mint has announced they’re redesigning the penny. It’s going to have Abraham Lincoln on the front and a shield on the back. Lincoln is probably thinking, “Sure, now you give me a shield.”

Bernie Madoff’s daughter-in-law, Stephanie Madoff, is changing her name. She says the Madoff name is tainted with scandal and she wants a name with less negative connotation. She is now known as Stephanie bin Laden.

People in L.A. don’t eat cereal, because they don’t like sugar because it’s bad for you. Sure it’s OK to inject botulism into your face, but not to eat sugar.

Growing up, I didn’t eat much cereal because my family didn’t have very much money. We didn’t have Fruity Pebbles, we had actual pebbles.

 

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

The weather in L.A. is unbelievable. Today I had to dig my car out from under 18 inches of sunshine.

The whole East Coast is covered in snow right now. Millions of people are unable to get to where they used to work.

The Winter Olympics end on Sunday and even our weather is beating Canada. We’re completely out-snowing them.