Tiger Woods is making a televised public apology tomorrow. He needs three more to tie my record.

I’m glad Tiger is taking care of this now before it becomes a big story.

The Dalai Lama was down at the White House today to meet President Obama. Meanwhile in Texas, George W. Bush got caught in the garage door.

American snowboarder Shaun White is called the “flying tomato,” which I think is an unfair nickname. He’s a bit more carroty isn’t he?

That Shaun White is incredible. I know I usually complain about young people and their non-aching hips and their functioning memories, but I take it all back.

Of course, if I start to think snowboarding is cool, it is, by definition, uncool.

Tiger Woods’ first post-crash press conference is scheduled for tomorrow morning in Florida. I haven’t been this excited since Princess Di’s wedding.

How is it that the Olympics can hand out 250 medals in a few weeks? It takes “American Idol” 58 weeks to pick one karaoke singer.

President Obama met with the Dalai Lama today, despite strong objections from the Chinese government. They’ve even threatened to stop sending us poisonous toys.

The president smoothed things over by not having the meeting in the Oval Office, and by also inviting Michelle Obama’s mama, Johnny Drama and Wilmer Valderrama.