Wednesday Feb 10 2010
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Late Show with David Letterman
In New York City this morning, the snow was a tremendous sight. It was whiter than a tea party rally.
A couple feet of snow here in New York City. I hope we don’t lose Mayor Bloomberg again.
President Obama wants to have a televised debate with Republicans. The Who is going to play at half time.
Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Things You Didn't Know About "Survivor"
None of us ever paid taxes on our winnings
Ninety percent of all contestants are bartenders, the other 10 percent — cocktail waitresses
Many contestants go on to do great things, like host boat shows
We use our wits, our stamina, and any four star hotel in the area
A scorpion once climbed up my pants and stung me in the crotch
Appearance on the show was a condition of my parole
Winner gets $1 million, everyone else gets a tote bag and ringworm
To compete with "Lost," we've added hatch, a polar bear and a really fat guy
Being on "Survivor" is almost as hellish as being on Letterman
Several contestants later posed for Playboy — and I'm one of them
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
The snow just won’t stop. They’re already calling this the “Toyota” of storms.
Valentine’s Day is Sunday, just after Super Bowl Sunday. What a roller coaster it has been for men.
The cast of “Jersey Shore” spent the day making orange-tinted snow angels.
There was so much snow in New York City that Whoopi Goldberg was unable to make it to “The View,” which means they only had eight hosts.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
It’s so cold out there, the writing on Sarah Palin's hand said, "Economy, jobs, put gloves on, stupid!"
New York City canceled public schools for only the third time in six years. That's crazy, right? Only three times in six years — or what the Knicks would call, "a win."
The U.N. here in New York was also closed because of the snowstorm. That could be bad. I mean if the U.N. is closed, who’s gonna do nothing?
President Obama told White House reporters that his meeting with bipartisan congressional leaders went, quote, "well." When asked why he was being so vague, he was like, "Because."