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Tuesday Apr 12 2016

The Tonight Show Starring with Conan

According to some analysts, Donald Trump’s support is deeper than it looks. Although others say Trump just took the support he has and combed it over to make it look better.

It’s come out that President Obama has been allowed to see special advance episodes of the new season of "Game of Thrones." Obama says he watches "Game of Thrones" to remember what it’s like to have reasonably sane people compete for leadership.

In a recent interview, Ted Cruz’s wife, Heidi, said Donald Trump’s nasty tweet about her looks did not impact her. Heidi Cruz said, "Part of my marriage vow to Ted was to give up all human feeling."

John Kasich gave a 30-minute speech in New York City. Afterwards, the crowd applauded Kasich and then put $8.34 in his hat.

A new exhibit shows eight of the alternate endings Ernest Hemingway considered using for his classic novel "A Farewell to Arms." In my opinion the worst is the one that ends with "see ya later, arms!"



The Tonight Show Starring with Jimmy Fallon

I saw that Bill Clinton was in the Bronx campaigning for Hillary yesterday, and visited the “Hebrew Home for the Aging.” While Hillary actually went there to drop off Bernie Sanders.

The director of the CIA says that no matter who the next president is, the agency will not use waterboarding ever again. Instead, he's come up with a new way to torture people: turn off the Wi-Fi when they visit their parents’ house.

A Starbucks customer in Florida was just in the news because apparently, when he ordered a grande white mocha, the barista labeled it, "Diabetes Here I Come." But on the bright side, it was the first time that “Diabetes Here I Come” ever had his name spelled correctly on a Starbucks cup.

Researchers in California found that 74 percent of mothers confessed that they like one child better than another. Then one mother said, “Don’t use my name, 'cuz I don't want Jeb to find out.”

I read that hoarding is getting worse in the U.S. and affects over 15 million Americans. Of course it might be higher now, 'cuz I read that in a newspaper I've been saving since 2003.



The Tonight Show Starring with Seth Meyers

A new poll has found that Bernie Sanders is the most likable of all the presidential candidates. Which, let’s face it, is kind of like being the best-dressed person at Wal-Mart.

The cast of ABC’s "Scandal" is set to appear at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton later this month. Unless she loses in New York, in which case she’d like to speak with the folks at "How to Get Away With Murder."

House Speaker Paul Ryan this afternoon issued a formal statement ruling himself out as a potential replacement candidate if there is a contested Republican convention. And you know things are bad in the Republican Party when people who aren’t even running are dropping out of the race.

Tomorrow night will be Kobe Bryant’s last NBA game. He says he's looking forward to retirement and his teammates are looking forward to finding out what the ball feels like.


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