This Saturday is Halloween and a lot of people this year are going as presidential candidates. However, I’m not sure I want to see a slutty Mike Huckabee.

China announced it is going to start allowing couples to have more than one child. Which means nine months from now, Apple’s work force in China will double.

During last night’s debate, Donald Trump said he would feel more comfortable if his own employees brought firearms to work. When they heard that, many of Trump’s Hispanic employees said, "No problemo."

For Halloween, Google Maps has created a Street View tour of the world’s scariest locations. The scariest locations include a haunted castle in Scotland, a graveyard in Transylvania, and the bathroom of a Del Taco.

Analysts are saying that after last night’s dismal performance at the debate, Jeb Bush’s donors are in "full panic mode." Apparently, last night Jeb Bush called his two biggest donors and said, "Calm down, Mom and Dad."

Amazon is considering starting its own clothing line. Which is strange, because what’s great about shopping on Amazon is not having to wear clothes.

Last night in Colorado the Republican candidates for president gathered to debate. It was the most-watched program in CNBC history. Mostly people watched to get ideas for Halloween costumes.

Jeb Bush had a very rough night last night. He finally got time to say what he wanted, and how did he use it? He attacks not Donald Trump, not Hillary Clinton or Ben Carson. Of all people, he attacks Marco Rubio for missing votes in the Senate. Which is something that literally no one outside of Florida cares about. It was embarrassing. And it's just like a Bush to attack the wrong guy, it really is.

The worst of memorable moments: We learned Donald Trump carries a gun. He told the group he carries a concealed weapon, conceals it in his hair.

The front-runner Dr. Ben Carson, in his closing statement, said one thing he's noticed on the campaign trail that is people are waking up. And we're hoping that eventually he will also wake up.

Halloween is just a couple days away. Everybody's getting in the spirit. In fact last night, I watched TWO scary movies: the Republican debate and the Mets game. (I'll be having nightmares for WEEKS!)

Carly Fiorina said that after the previous debate, people told her that she needed to smile more. They were like, "Just pretend you're laying off a bunch of people."

In his closing comments, Rand Paul said that he is running to create a government so small that you can barely see it. Paul said it would be modeled after his presidential campaign.

It was announced that China officially ended its one-child policy this week, and will allow parents to have two children. Over the next few nights, the only thing that will be “made in China” is love. In bed.

There are reports that a movie is in the works based on the game Monopoly. They say the movie will be just like the game because it's four hours long and it ends with your family fighting.

The third Republican debate was held last night, and RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said he was extremely disappointed with the coverage. And he understands disappointment, because his parents named him Reince Priebus.

A new survey from Bank of America and USA Today found that 39 percent of millennials are chronically stressed because of money. And the other 61 percent are monetarily stressed because of chronic.

China has revised its one child per family rule. It will now allow parents to have two children. Chinese parents were so excited, they let their kids have the day off of work.

Apple is reportedly working on a new protection system that will reduce the number of iPhones with cracked screens. The system is called "Alcoholics Anonymous."

"Star Wars" creator George Lucas has gotten approval to build a 300,000-square-foot museum in Chicago. And if you think that sounds exciting, just wait until you've tried sex.

If you have not chosen a costume by now, that means you are that much closer to being that guy at the party trying to pass off your shower cap and bath robe as a costume. That is not a costume. That is unemployed.

Here is a quick costume idea you can make with things just lying around. You can find these in your bathroom. Just stick a toilet plunger on your forehead, and then put a toilet seat around your neck, and say you are a narwhal breaking through the ice.

Did you guys watch the debate on CNBC last night? In some ways it was impressive. It managed to thread the needle between confusing and boring.

But if I'm going to talk about the debate, it's now or never. Though never is a tempting option.

In fact, when I interviewed for this job, I said my biggest weakness was sometimes I work so hard I forget to cash my paychecks.