Arnold Schwarzenegger has been named the new host of "Celebrity Apprentice." Wait until the apprentices find out exactly what you have to do when you work for Arnold Schwarzenegger. They're going to spend half the show just trying to understand what their assignment is.

Mark Cuban, star of "Shark Tank," is now thinking about running for president. Still no word from the Cake Boss.

This weekend was the annual National Federation of Republican Women Convention. Or as Donald Trump called it, a total dog show. He would do that and his approval rating would go up 15 points.

I'm raising the roof for Rosh Hashanah. It's the beginning of the Jewish New Year 5,776. In other words, it's been 5,763 years since Larry King's bar mitzvah.

Another new season of "Dancing with the Stars" has waltzed into our lives tonight. "Dancing with the Stars" season 21. They're promising a lot of big surprises this time. I don't know what could be more surprising than the fact that "Dancing with the Stars" has been on for 21 seasons.

Also on TV last night we named a new Miss America. Miss Georgia is the new Miss America at the 95th annual Miss America Pageant. Miss America is the highest honor a woman can achieve for getting a spray tan.

A new host of "Celebrity Apprentice" was unveiled. Donald Trump is out, none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger is in. Apparently the key job requirements they're looking for are orange and loud … If you have those then he's got to say, "hasta la vista, baby," instead of "you're fired!"

On Friday, Rick Perry announced that he is dropping out of the presidential race. It's too bad. This country really needs more candidates like Rick Perry — you know, candidates who will drop out of the presidential race.

The remaining candidates are gearing up for the second Republican debate, which will take place this Wednesday on CNN. It starts at 8 p.m. and ends when Donald Trump runs out of air.

Donald Trump's star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood was vandalized last week with a yellow "X." When they asked Trump about the "X" he said, "Be more specific. I have many exes.”

NBC announced that Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to be the next host of "Celebrity Apprentice." Yeah, not only did they take the job from Trump, but NBC added insult to injury by giving it to an immigrant.

The first challenge [will be] figuring out what Arnold wants you to do on "Celebrity Apprentice." "YOU GOT TO MAKE A LEMONADE STAND AND SELL THE MOST T-SHIRTS TO THE BUSINESSMEN!"

Just 100 days into his candidacy, Rick Perry has become the first Republican candidate to drop out of the race. Even more disappointing, it was just 10 days after the LensCrafters free return deadline.

NBC announced today that Arnold Schwarzenegger will replace Donald Trump as the host of next season’s "Celebrity Apprentice." Man, wait until Trump finds out he’s being replaced by an immigrant with an anchor baby.

Donald Trump said in the latest issue of "Rolling Stone" that he would consider dating his daughter Ivanka Trump, if he weren’t her father. Which explains why I saw Ivanka Trump’s therapist shopping for a boat.

Miss Georgia Betty Cantrell was crowned Miss America last night. While Miss Kentucky was crowned “least cooperative.”

and deposited it. He might have gotten away with it if he hadn’t written “that money I stole” on the memo line.

The Miss America Pageant crowned its 94th winner last night. There was lots of excitement, plenty of surprises. The biggest surprise for me was finding out that you guys still do this.

I understand that Miss America is an old American tradition, but so was dying of polio, and you've managed to stop that. Technically the winner last night was anyone who didn't watch, but the official winner was Miss Georgia.

This year, every contestant recorded a Twitter video where she shared a fun fact about herself. Now, I'm not sure they know the meaning of the word "fun." Here's a fun fact about me: After watching Miss America last night, I'm going to move my daughter back to the U.K.