Today I got what I wanted for Christmas. Balloon Boy's dad is going to jail.
President Obama said his wife Michelle decided they should not buy each other Christmas gifts this year. Mr. President, if you're listening it's a trap!
Mr. President, if you don't buy her a gift, you better hope healthcare passes.
Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.
President Obama’s daughter Sasha says that she already bought her dad’s gift. She won’t say what it is but she did say, “It’s something he likes.” Which begs the question: How did an 8-year-old get her hands on a carton of Marlboro Lights?
Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself “Barry from D.C.” Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck’s radio show as “B. Hussein from Kenya.”
Former President Bush is writing his memoirs and he says they will focus on 12 major decisions he made in his life. The weird thing is, 11 of them were made by Dick Cheney.
According to a recent report, due to the recession, Americans are eating cheap, unhealthy, fatty foods. So apparently, the recession started in 1957.
My mom went Christmas shopping today. We dropped her off at the mall with a GPS.
Traffic is bad, the holiday with the gridlock. It's like Dick Cheney, all major arteries are clogged.
Final installment of Things More Fun Than Reading the Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving into a tree, microwaving your head, and getting stabbed in the eye with a carrot.
At my house this year, we're going to have California Christmas dinner which means no carbs, no meat . . . no food. We're just going to have a glass of water and throw up.
I am going to have a traditional Christmas dinner but traditional Christmas dinner at my house is just like Thanksgiving and I'm like, "One a year is enough for me."
That's two dinners right there, separated by almost a month. And I'll be honest with you, I'll have snacks in between.
A new survey in Britain found that seven percent of people plan on taking a sick day from work during the holiday season due to party-related hangovers. Meanwhile, the other 93 percent will just go to work plastered.
Well, it’s been a long time coming . . . But tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. is the Senate’s big healthcare vote. Which means starting at 5 a.m., me and my buddies will be tailgating in the Senate parking lot.
A new poll from the Association of Train Operating Companies found that one third of women and one fifth of men visit their grandparents every week. “Association of Train Operating Companies?” Nice try, Grandma.
A new report found that people in Luxembourg consume the most alcohol in the world. The same report found that Luxembourg has the most beautiful women in the world after 10 p.m.