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Tuesday Mar 04 2014

The Tonight Show Starring with Conan

The New York Times has apologized for a spelling error they made 161 years ago. They spelled “Larry King” with one "r".

Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed that he's filming a new "Terminator" movie next month. In this one the Terminator travels 10 years into the future and meets Matthew McConaughey's hero.

RadioShack has announced plans to close 1,000 stores throughout the U.S. RadioShack customers were very upset when they got the news on their pagers.



The Tonight Show Starring with Letterman

Welcome to the Ed Sullivan Theater, now under Russian control.

Russia, over the weekend, invaded Crimea, but evil Russian President Vladimir Putin said he has no plans to annex the territory. Well, that's good enough for me.

You know what happened on this date nine years ago today? Martha Stewart escaped from prison.

Martha Stewart was in prison because they caught her egging a neighbor's mansion.



The Tonight Show Starring with Ferguson

Tonight is Mardi Gras, the biggest celebration in New Orleans. Thousands of visitors descend upon New Orleans to drink themselves stupid and behave badly. So it's just like every other weekend.

Mardi Gras is French for Fat Tuesday. People stuff themselves right before Lent, when Catholics traditionally fast. Every religion has a holiday where people fast to prove their devotion. Catholics have Lent. And here in L.A., we have Oscar season.

Catholics all over the world celebrate Mardi Gras. There's a big festival in Rome. Italians take to the streets, shouting, waving their arms. Then Mardi Gras starts.

Even the Pope gets involved in Mardi Gras. He's really the most interesting Pope in the world. "I don't always throw beads off my balcony. But when I do, it's at Mardi Gras."



The Tonight Show Starring with Kimmel

We had an interesting night last night. The mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford, was here. Then after the show, apparently he was upset. Why, I'm not exactly sure. I asked him about drinking and smoking crack. What were we supposed to talk about? His other hobbies?

It's hard to tell whether Rob Ford is mad because his face is always bright red. It doesn't change colors.

It's Mardi Gras in New Orleans. This is the night when women traditionally penalize their fathers for not paying enough attention to them by exposing themselves to strangers in exchange for beads.

A puff of glittery smoke billowed up from the chimney of the Vatican this morning to announce a new cast on "Dancing With the Stars." Usually you have to tear through old issues of magazines at the dentist office to figure out who they are.


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