There is such a thing as financial infidelity, and it can cause fateful rifts in personal relationships and marriages.

Nearly one in four Americans, 38%, have lied about money to their romantic partner, Financial Planning magazine reports.

This is a big deal for most people, as 54% consider dishonesty about money just as bad as other forms of infidelity. In fact, a CreditCards.com poll found that 42% of adults believe financial fibs are akin to physical cheating.

Financial planners working with married couples or partners find this kind of financial challenge particularly thorny, to the point that some have even “fired” clients over financial infidelity.

“It’s an incredibly difficult situation to be in as an adviser, because you’re confronting one partner in front of the other,” says Jeffrey Edward, president of Atlas Financial Planning in Irvine, Calif. “Much like in marriage or couples counseling, you have to let the ‘offender’ understand it’s not what they’re doing that’s wrong — hiding it is.”

Here are the top 3 monetary ways couples have “cheated” on their partner — and what financial advisers are doing to try to help.


1.) Just Got to Have It

Nearly half, 49%, of U.S. adults have lied to their partner at some point about a purchase, according to a Forbes Advisor survey.

Typically, it’s on relatively insignificant things, like clothes, electronics or innocuous consumer goods.

However, one adviser in Virginia discovered that one of his clients had taken out home equity on the house he owned with his wife to purchase multiple rental properties without her knowledge. The husband began drowning in debt when he couldn't rent out the properties profitably.

When the wife discovered their finances were being depleted, the financial adviser felt that the case was more than he could handle, and referred them to a financial therapist.


2.) Drowning in Debt

The second-most common area of financial double-crossing is hiding or lying about the amount of one’s debt.

Thirty-six percent said they didn’t want to disclose their debt to their husband, wife or significant other because they felt ashamed. Thirty-two percent wanted to avoid an argument with their partner.

Debt can lead to serious divisiveness in a relationship, for certain.

Fifty-four percent of Americans say if their spouse were to take on an inordinate amount of debt, they would consider divorcing them, according to a study by National Debt Relief. Sixty percent of those not yet married said a big debt load held by their partner would give them serious pause before tying the knot.

3.) Hey Big Spender

Twenty-five percent of those surveyed by Forbes Advisor admitted they covered up a habit of excessive spending.

Karen Van Voorhis, director of financial planning at Daniel J. Galli & Associates in Norwell, Mass., was advising a couple who she learned was grappling with this problem. The wife would habitually splurge on $20,000, $30,000 big-ticket items without thinking twice about it, although she made it a point not to tell her husband about the shopping sprees.

The credit card debt ballooned to such a level that her husband had to withdraw money from their joint investment account to pay off the debt.

Like the adviser dealing with the big spender in the first example, Van Voorhis felt a bit overwhelmed by the case and referred the husband and wife to a financial therapist.

Therapists accredited by the Financial Therapy Association work at the intersection of the therapeutic and financial fields to help people develop healthier spending habits. Their aim is to help people learn to be fiscally responsible.

Van Voorhis says to help people with financial tribulations, even the the conversations between the partners within the relationship themselves, it is very important to be direct and to face the problem head-on.

“I learned to be a lot more clear and bold with clients,” Van Voorhis says. “You are paying me to be a fiduciary — not with your whole life, just with your finances. But your finances are crumbling because of those other pieces. I need to be able to say that.”