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What Do Others Remember About You?

What Do Others Remember About You?
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By Sunday, 24 January 2021 06:58 AM Current | Bio | Archive

What Do People Remember About You?

Qualities, Features That Make Fond Memories

We consistently meet new people in the course of our daily lives, both personally and professionally. Yet some people make more of an impression than others, in more ways than one.

We meet some individuals we can’t wait to see again, and others we hope we don’t.

New acquaintances form the same memorable impressions about us.

According to research, being memorable involves looking, listening, and feeling.

When you meet someone new in person, they may remember something about you physically, but depending on what you say and how you say it, they will also remember how you made them feel.

Dressed for . . . Attention

After a social event, we all remember the woman in red, or the man with the top hat—although sometimes personal presentation goes further. Hollywood hopefuls capitalize on this reality by waring something outlandish (hopefully also tasteful) on the red carpet to create a camera-swiveling breakout moment, while struggling artists or authors attend galas in outfits designed to be discussed and displayed on the society pages of local magazines.

But in terms of making a good impression, being memorable is not about flamboyance or fashion. And it’s not just about attire, but attraction — both physical and emotional — in reverse order of importance.

What Is Physical 'Distinctiveness'?

El Haj Mohamad and André Ndobo (2020), in a study investigating destination memory (remembering to whom information was previously relayed), began by acknowledging prior research finding people tended to remember the extremes: both attractive and unattractive faces.

They acknowledge that one suggested explanation was that "both very attractive and very unattractive faces are characterized by distinctive features that promote facial recognition" as compared with faces of average attractiveness.

However, while distinctiveness is memorable, beauty is skin deep.

Accordingly, the way you are remembered by others is less about what you wear and how you look and more about the way you make people feel.

Being the Personable Professional Can Leave a Memorable Mark 

Positive professional interaction results in positive personal memories. Adrie A. Koehler et al. in thier article aptly entitled, "In the Eye of the Beholder" (from 2017) found that when prompted to recall their best learning experience, many students discussed a memorable teacher. What made the teachers memorable? According to the students, memorable qualities included teaching style, but also interpersonal skills, and positive attributes such as sense of humor and compassion.

We can relate to the results of this study when recalling people who are memorable in our own lives. They are not always people who we view as the smartest or most credentialed, but those who made us feel the most comfortable, and often the ones who were most interested in us.

So pay attention; authentic interest is uniquely attractive. Not only will you remember what someone said, they will remember you. Fondly.

The Way You Make Me Feel

Raul Berrios et al. in a piece aptly named "Why Do You Make Us Feel Good?" (2015) acknowledged prior research studying "affective presence," finding people often impact our emotional moods, making us feel happy or stressed, for example.

In a speed dating study, they found that dates with greater positive affective presence made the best impression on prospective romantic partners, demonstrating how positive distinctiveness may stem from the emotional impact of our behavior.

So regardless of what we wear and how we look, we are always naturally more engaging and approachable when we are focused on others, instead of ourselves. When we are genuine rather than simply gregarious. Remember that, and others will remember you.

This article was originally published in Psychology Today.

Wendy L. Patrick, JD, MDiv, PhD, is an award-winning career trial attorney and media commentator. She is host of "Live with Dr. Wendy" on KCBQ, and a daily guest on other media outlets, delivering a lively mix of flash, substance and style. Her over 4,500 media appearances include these major news outlets: CNN, Fox News Channel, HLN, FOX Business Network and weekly appearances on Newsmax. She is author of ''Red Flags'' (St. Martin´s Press), and co-author of The New York Times bestseller "Reading People" (Random House, revision). On a personal note, Dr. Patrick holds a purple belt in Shorin-Ryu karate, participates as a concert violinist with the La Jolla Symphony & Chorus, and plays the electric violin professionally with a rock band. Read Dr. Wendy L. Patrick's Reports — More Here.​

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We meet some individuals we can’t wait to see again, and others we hope we don’t. New acquaintances form the same memorable impressions about us.
acquaintances, impressions, memorable
Sunday, 24 January 2021 06:58 AM
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