Tags: spouse | divorce | ups | downs | marriage

6 Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse

6 Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse
(Joe Raedle/Getty)

By    |   Tuesday, 26 November 2019 04:31 PM

Marriage isn’t always easy.

All couples have their ups and downs but if you want to avoid some of the downs then you need to realize that certain things are better off left unsaid. That’s what Reader's Digest reported recently, and here are 6 things they believe you should never say to your spouse. If you don’t follow this advice and things go wrong, just remember, we told you so (that’s No. 6!).

  1. "I want a divorce." It’is easy to get lost in the heat of the moment but threatening to divorce your partner is showing them you are not committed to the marriage, which could leave your spouse feeling rejected and not safe to love you, said Tracey Steinberg, author of "Flirt For Fun & Meet THE One."
  2. "You are lying.” The foundation of a successful relationship is built upon truth but if you suspect your partner is being untruthful, accusing them of being a liar could start to eat away at your marriage. "The idea is to listen rather than fire off harsh statements," said Stacey Laura Lloyd, the "Dating Expert for about.com." She explained that by gathering all the facts first, "you’ll be in a much better position to understand your spouse’s behavior and then react appropriately."
  3. "You are overreacting" and "You are too sensitive." These comments could leave your partner feeling as if their emotions are not validated or that you are not hearing what they are trying to say. "You want your partner to feel safe showing and voicing his vulnerability without fear of judgment," said Laurel House, a dating and empowerment coach on E!’s "Famously Single." These phrases are perceived as “demeaning directives that belittle and degrade your partner.” House recommended letting your partner vent while you listen carefully to what they have to say.
  4. "Nothing is wrong." If it is obvious that something is wrong, saying nothing is wrong is passive-aggressive and it could lead to a fight. And while fighting can be a healthy part of a long-term relationship, there are ways to do so. "It’s not that you fight but how you fight. Don’t worry about disagreeing or not being on the same page," said Andrea Syrtash, a relationship expert. She said that when you communicate through your differences and “actually hear each other” you’ll be more likely to make breakthroughs or find common ground.
  5. "If you really loved me..." Starting a sentence like this already puts your partner on a defensive path. Syrtash explained that this is a passive-aggressive way to communicate your needs and it will leave your spouse feeling pressured. "Your partner shouldn’t feel like he’s on trial to prove his love," Syrtash said.
  6. "I told you so." This phrase, which is so commonly thrown around in relationships, is basically telling your partner they are dumb and will leave them feeling belittled. "The unspoken and unwelcome message is that you’re smarter than he is," said Lloyd. "This type of comment does nothing to remedy the situation at hand."

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Marriage isn't always easy. All couples have their ups and downs but if you want to avoid some of the downs then you need to realize that certain things are better off left unsaid.
spouse, divorce, ups, downs, marriage
500
2019-31-26
Tuesday, 26 November 2019 04:31 PM
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