Marriage is tough. Trying to make a marriage work when the foundations are crumbling is even harder.
That could explain why there were nearly 800,000 divorces in the U.S. reported by the Centers Disease Control, according to 2017 provisional data (covering 45 states and Washington, D.C.). While another study found that the divorce rate between 2008 and 2016 had dropped, experts have found a trend when it comes to couples splitting.
Insider recently set out to determine what the top reasons were for people splitting by analyzing data obtained from a study done by the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), then compared this to its own data team’s information. Based upon the results, these are the top 7 reasons why people divorce:
7. Domestic violence. Emotional and physical abuse was a big reason why many marriages ended, according to data gathered by Insider. One survey participant shared: "There were times that I felt very physically threatened. There was a time that there was a bit of shoving. I got an elbow to my nose ... We'd work on it. It would happen again."
6. Substance abuse. Substance abuse was another massive reason why so many couples split. An unnamed respondent in the survey recalled how alcohol caused their marriage's demise. "He never admitted that he even drank. It wasn't me against him. It was me against him and the disease."
5. Financial problems. The stress that comes along with financial issues can cause a massive strain on marriages, as was the case for many former couples participating in the survey who found the burden too heavy for their relationship to last.
4. Getting married too young. We often hear older couples caution younger people to avoid rushing into marriage and according to data gathered by Insider, divorce is the reason why.
3. Unresolved conflict and arguing. Fighting is normal in any marriage however conflict and arguing that is constant and not resolved calmly and effectively creates strain that can end in divorce. One survey participant summed it up by saying, "I got frustrated of arguing too much," Insider reported.
2. Infidelity or extramarital affairs. It is hard for a marriage to survive infidelity — as can be seen by the stats. What drives a spouse to cheat? Insider cited feelings of neglect, insecurity and fear of abandonment as some of the reasons behind infidelity.
1. Lack of commitment. It sounds like a walking contradiction. The basis of marriage is commitment yet 75% of the people surveyed by NCBI blamed lack of commitment for their divorce. The phenomenon even has a name: Asymmetrically Committed Relationships (ACRs), which refers to instances in which one partner is more committed to their relationship than the other, Psychology Today noted.
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