"The Undoing" star Noma Dumezweni has revealed she thought she was going to be fired from the HBO limited series.
The actress held her own in her role next to Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant and is now an Emmy contender, but despite her captivating performance, she told The Wrap she had her insecurities.
"I was basically doing swan feet; meaning, I'm looking as calm as I can but I am FLAPPING right underneath," she said of shooting scenes with Kidman.
"I was stressing – all those things," Dumezweni continued. "There was a moment I thought I was going to be fired."
The actress further recalled director Susanne Bier telling her they needed to "get three years of theater" experience out of her.
Dumezweni also opened up about her fears of being fired during an interview with Marie Claire in March.
"I was scared," she said. "I genuinely thought I was gonna be fired. There was one particular day I came back crying 'cause I'd gotten myself into such a twist that I wasn't good enough. It's that awful voice that comes in, going, 'You don't know what you're doing. I'm too loud. I'm not small enough.'"
Dumezweni recalled watching the scene later and realizing she was the one making excuses for why she should not be working on the show. This, coupled with reassurance offered by Grant, helped Dumezweni come into her own.
"I do remember having lovely conversations with Hugh [Grant] about it," she recalled of conversations she later had with the actor. "He was going, 'It never gets easier.' I was like, 'What? Even for you?' He said, 'I've even spoken to Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks about this.'"
Fueling her insecurities, Dumezweni admitted she monitored what the Internet was saying about her and at times wanted to throw her phone out of the window.
"When 'The Undoing' was coming out in October , I gave myself the month of August off. And I actually just shut down my Instagram and my Twitter, and I literally just went and disappeared," she said.
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