Lady Gaga is opening up about suffering a "psychotic break" after being sexually assaulted.
The incident took place when she was 19 years old. During an appearance on Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry's new Apple TV+ series, "The Me You Can't See," the "Poker Face" hitmaker recalled working with a music producer who repeatedly demanded that she take off her clothes or have her music burned.
"They didn't stop asking me, and I just froze and I ... I don't even remember," she said, according to Yahoo! News.
Years later she suffered a breakdown. It first manifested physically with acute pain and numbness. Gaga was admitted to the hospital and was surprised to find herself sitting in a psychiatrist's office.
"I [couldn't] feel my own body. First I felt full-on pain, then I felt numb, and then I was sick for weeks after," she recalled. "I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner, at my parents' house, because I was vomiting and sick. Because I had been abused, and I was locked away in a studio for months."
Gaga, 35, added that she struggled with PTSD after the rape, saying that the trauma would not leave her.
"I had a total psychotic break and, for a couple of years, I was not the same girl. The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was raped," she said. "I've had so many MRIs and scans where they don't find nothing. But your body remembers."
Gaga has spoken candidly about her past trauma and struggles with mental health. Last March she admitted to suffering from clinical depression and acknowledged that the trauma after the rape had dramatically impacted her physical health. She was eventually diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a chronic inflammatory disorder linked to PTSD that causes pain throughout the entire body
"Essentially it's neuropathic pain: My brain gets stressed, my body hurts," she told Paper magazine. "[I'm] angry at my body, angry at my condition, angry that when I'm stressed my body hurts."
Her depression and PTSD became themes featured in her album "Chromatica," but, despite this, Gaga told Paper that she hoped the album would convey a message of hope to her fans.
"I will do whatever it takes to make the world dance and smile. I want to put out a record that forces people to rejoice even in their saddest moments," she said.
"Yeah, I live in Chromatica; it took a minute to get here, but that doesn't mean I don't remember what happened," Gaga added. "So if you're in pain and listening to this music, just know that I know what it's like to be in pain. And I know what it's like to also not let it ruin your life."
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Zoe Papadakis ✉
Zoe Papadakis is a Newsmax writer based in South Africa with two decades of experience specializing in media and entertainment. She has been in the news industry as a reporter, writer and editor for newspapers, magazine and websites.
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