For years Jessica Simpson has harbored a dark secret she was too afraid to speak about. Now she is finally opening up about her history of sexual abuse and addiction.
In her upcoming memoir, "Open Book," the singer and fashion designer revisits her painful childhood and tells how she later turned to alcohol and pills as a coping mechanism, leading to addiction.
It all began when she was 6 years old and "shared a bed with the daughter of a family friend," Jessica wrote in her memoir, an excerpt of which was shared with People. "It would start with tickling my back and then go into things that were extremely uncomfortable."
For six years Jessica carried the secret around. She wanted to tell her parents, Tina and Joe Simpson, but felt ashamed and guilty- as if she had done something wrong. Jessica was 12-years-old when she finally worked up the courage to say something.
Tina immediately turned to Joe and said: "I told you something was happening."
Joe said nothing, he just "kept his eye on the road," Jessica wrote. "We never stayed at my parents’ friends' house again but we also didn’t talk about what I had said."
It was not long after that Jessica got her first recording contract, released an album and shot to fame as a singer and reality TV show star.
She married Eric Johnson with whom she shares three kids, and established a million-dollar clothing line.
To the outside world, Jessica's life was a dream come true, but inside she was battling demons. Her past trauma combined with the stress of work saw her turn to alcohol and stimulants.
Jessica hit rock bottom at a Halloween party in 2017. It was that night that she decided to get help and with the support of friends and family, has been sober ever since. Giving up alcohol was the easy part.
"I was mad at that bottle. At how it allowed me to stay complacent and numb," she wrote.
Facing her past was where it got tough, but Jessica was determined to let go of the hurt.
"When I finally said I needed help, it was like I was that little girl that found her calling again in life," she wrote. "I found direction and that was to walk straight ahead with no fear."
Getting to the other side of her fear was a "beautiful" experience for Jessica.
"It’s been a long hard deep emotional journey," she said. "One that I’ve come through the other side with pure happiness and fulfillment and acceptance of myself. I’ve used my pain and turned it into something that can be beautiful and hopefully inspiring to people."
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