Writing columns and editorials for The Long Island Catholic, I found it frustrating whenever readers would mischaracterize what I had written.
Whether done deliberately to set up easily discredited "straw men" or unintentionally — due either to reading comprehension deficits or readers jumping to conclusions about what they thought I was going to say — this was always exasperating. Especially as I strove, writing for a religious publication, to be careful that the words I chose communicated exactly what I wanted to say.
Writing, for example, about women who choose to be full-time homemakers, I welcomed the opportunity for women to have choices not always available to them in times past, to develop their potential, pursue whatever career or vocational path they choose, and contribute their talents to the public weal.
I simply urged that women who choose to devote full time to their families not be vilified for doing so, particularly by feminist activists who are all about "choice" — except those choices they don't approve of women making.
But some, ignoring the entirety of what I wrote, falsely claimed I was saying women belong only in the home.
So I empathize with Harrison Butker, placekicker for the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, who sounded a similar theme during his commencement address at Benedictine College in Kansas — and whose words have been similarly mischaracterized by some vociferous critics.
The outspoken Butker, challenging fellow Catholics to "speak and act with charity" but without "cowardice," had much to say about "things we're told in polite society not to bring up." He addressed "major life issues" like abortion, euthanasia, in vitro fertilization, and surrogacy; criticized Catholic priests and bishops for what he sees as a failure of leadership and misplaced priorities; and deplored the revolting spectacle of America's Catholic president making the sign of the cross while participating in a pro-abortion rally.
No one has to agree with everything — or anything — Butker said. I, for one, am deeply grateful for the many priests and bishops I have known or observed who give of themselves, sacrificially and courageously, to shepherd the faithful, teach, and defend the faith.
Regarding those who do not, I'd rather follow Butker's later admonition to himself that "focusing on my own vocation while praying and fasting for these men will do more for the church than me complaining about her leaders." And more for my own most imperfect soul, I would add.
But disagreement is one thing; distortion quite another. And distortion has been glaring on the topic that triggered the most visceral reaction: Butker's urging graduates — men as well as women, although that has been conveniently ignored by critics — not to forget, while pursuing rewarding and worthwhile careers, the primary importance of family.
This "was willfully misunderstood as misogynistic," wrote Kirsten Fleming in the New York Post, "by many who are still gassing it for outrage points."
Butker, as San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone wrote in a Father's Day New York Post opinion piece, clearly called on "men and women to treat fatherhood and motherhood (my emphasis) as a great calling." But by selectively quoting — and misquoting — his words, critics trumpeted the false impression that he was putting family responsibilities solely on women, and demanding that they forego any other pursuits or uses of their talents.
It was not surprising that mainstream media engaged in such distortions — USA Today, among others, falsely reporting that "Butker said he believes women belonged in the kitchen."
More troubling to me was the criticism from the Sisters of Mount St. Scholastica, the order that co-founded and co-sponsors Benedictine College. Not because they expressed disagreement with Butker; but because they too found it necessary — or easier — to misrepresent his words in making their case.
They deplored "the assertion that being a home maker is the highest calling for a woman."
Except Butker never made that assertion. He called being a homemaker "one (my emphasis) of the most important titles of all."
And in the next paragraph, he recognized the primary importance of his familial role as well, emphasizing his obligation to "never let football or my business become a distraction from that of a husband and father."
Butker's message seems clear: devotion to family does not preclude women — or men — from using "their God-given gifts in leadership, scholarship, and their careers" to "make a difference in the world," as the sisters are justly proud of having inspired women to do for "the past 160 years."
Nor, however, can those pursuits justify neglect of the seminal importance, for those so blessed, of married love and parenthood. Butker simply emphasized that one of the most important ways to make a difference in the world is by providing children with loving, stable homes that enable them in turn to develop their God-given talents, and to grow into caring, responsible adults who can continue to make the world a better place on into the next generation.
Do the good sisters disagree that this is one of the most important roles to which Catholic lay women and men can aspire? If so, they should say so, and engage honestly with what Harrison Butker actually said.
To instead misrepresent his words — whether deliberately, to make it easier to discredit him; or out of an ideologically driven misinterpretation of his message; or because of a collective deficit in reading or listening comprehension — is simply unbecoming of a Catholic religious community, especially one with a charism for Catholic scholarship.
For three decades, Rick Hinshaw has given voice to faith values in the public square, as a columnist, then editor of The Long Island Catholic; communications director for the Catholic League and the New York State Catholic Conference; co-host of "The Catholic Forum," on cable. He is now editor of his own blog, "Reading the Signs." Visit Rick’s home page at rickhinshaw.com. Read Rick Hinshaw's Reports — More Here.
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