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Your Government Schools at Work

Friday, 03 May 2002 12:00 AM

Go to http://www.boortz.com/homework.htm to take a look at a homework assignment from the Deep Creek Elementary School in Chesapeake, Va. Then come back and finish the rest of the column.

So, they're not allowing you to bring bottled water into Atlanta's Midtown Music Festival. They say people are sneaking booze in. Hint: If they're selling bottled water AT the festival, you know the REAL reason.

We had someone fall off one of those fancy new Segway scooters here in Atlanta yesterday. Hurt knee. The radio news tells us that the Segway "claimed" a victim. Yup … all the fault of the Segway. Had nothing to do whatsoever with a clumsy rider.

We're eagerly awaiting the arrive of the Pride Network – cable's first gay network. If I wanted to really have an easy day, I could just let listeners suggest pilots for shows on the Pride Network. "Everybody Loves Raymond" is taken.

Now they're talking about another peace conference in the Middle East. They're not exactly calling it that ... but that's what it is. Again – conferences, agreements and settlements are NOT the way to peace between the Arab and the Jewish states in the Middle East. Victory is the way. Total and absolute military defeat of the other side.

I note that Sean Hannity's producer, Flipper, is pregnant. Damn. That guy will do ANYTHING to copy me. And why do they call her Flipper? I suspect she's a mammal. Does she have a blowhole in the top of her head?

It was on this day in 1963 that Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech on the Mall in Washington, D.C. The rest of the King family was in the crowd demanding payment from anyone seen with a tape recorder.

More government school idiocy. For this episode we go to the Mellon Middle School in Mt. Lebanon, Pa. An 11-year-old girl gets a bad grade on a vocabulary test. So … she draws a picture. A picture of two teachers with arrows through their heads. A teacher happens to see the doodle and reports it to the authorities. Bingo! Three-day suspension!!

Now … get this. The school contends that the drawings were "terrorist threats." This means they put these drawings on the same level as flying commercial airliners into buildings and suicide bombings.

How in the world can children learn in such an idiotic atmosphere where stick figures constitute terrorist threats?

How can ordinary Americans combat this type of lunacy? By letting your feelings be known, that's how. For more about the Andrew J. Mellon Middle School, here's your link! http://www.mtlebanon.k12.pa.us/middles/mellon/.

The school principal is Dr. J. Kevin Lordon (412-344-2122, klordon@mtlebanon.k12.pa.us) and the president of the school board is Mr. Ronald R. Hoffman (rrhoff@aol.com).

If a stick-figure drawing by an 11-year-old girl is terrorism, you can only imagine what a phone call would be.

You're not one of those bad, bad people who skip over commercials when you're watching a recorded television show, are you? Well, if you are, Jamie Kellner, the chairman and CEO of Turner Broadcasting, would like for you to know that he thinks you are a thief. Here's a quote from Kellner's recent interview with CableWorld:

"Because of the ad skips ... it's theft. Your contract with the network when you get the show is you're going to watch the spots. Otherwise you couldn't get the show on an ad-supported basis. Any time you skip a commercial or watch the button, you're actually stealing the programming."

If this man's ideas gain any strength in Washington, look for television recording devices that will make it impossible for you to skip ahead in 30- or 60-second increments while you're watching a recorded television program.

And what about newspapers? How do they keep you from throwing away those food or automotive sections when you buy your local newspaper? Don't you know that if you only look at the news stories and don't read the advertisements in the newspaper you're "stealing" the newspaper?

We had two people killed in Atlanta last night. A shoot-out in the parking lot of one of Atlanta's swankiest north side shopping centers. Police are telling us that the shoot-out was drug-related.

Luckily, no "innocent" people were injured or killed. If some innocent shopper had been caught in the crossfire, it would be another death laid directly on the doorstep of our asinine, absurd war on drugs.

Let's say it was a drug deal gone bad that led to the shootings. Why would a drug deal mean so much? Why would it be so important that people might die?

Two reasons. One, because the law makes these people criminals – even though they're not violating any other person's rights. Two … the profit in these drug deals can be as high as 17,000 percent! That's quite a profit. It's a profit to die for … and to kill for.

Europe is starting to catch on. Treatment, not criminalization. How long before we take a huge move to make our streets safe, make room in prisons for REAL criminals, and save billions in law enforcement dollars?

Eighteen months of false alarms on the Cobb County 911 system. Now they have found the teenager who made the calls: William Hardaway, 17 years old. He faces multiple misdemeanor counts. This idiot would sometimes make four calls in one day … costing the taxpayers of Cobb County who knows how many thousands of dollars.

So, what will the punishment be? He's facing many years in prison, but don't hold your breath. My guess is that it will be a small fine, probation and picking up garbage along a road. Big deal.

Put the jerk in jail for about two years. Jerks in training will have second thoughts and taxpayer money will be saved.

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Go to http://www.boortz.com/homework.htm to take a look at a homework assignment from the Deep Creek Elementary School in Chesapeake, Va. Then come back and finish the rest of the column. So, they're not allowing you to bring bottled water into Atlanta's Midtown Music...
Friday, 03 May 2002 12:00 AM
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