Tags: Michael | Reagan: | Love | Can | Fix | 'Rootless' | Generation

Michael Reagan: Love Can Fix 'Rootless' Generation

Wednesday, 29 September 2004 12:00 AM

He has overcome many obstacles in his life, and his new book "Twice Adopted" is a candid account of how he met these hardships – and beat them.

But Reagan recalls how his adoption and the public divorce of his parents made for troubled seas. After being sexually molested, Reagan had to live through decades of pain.

[NewsMax has autographed copies of Mike Reagan’s new book –

In his book, Reagan uses the lessons learned from reliving his past to guide others through their confrontations with hardship, temptations and the tragedies we encounter as we live out our lives.

In an exclusive interview with NewsMax.com, Mike explains what led him to write "Twice Adopted" and how he went about putting his past into the perspective of a born again Christian, devoted son, husband and father.

I don’t know how I was able to do it. Perhaps it is a gift that I have. I’m able to go back and draw on these memories I had as a child and relive the memory with a child’s mind and recall the situation I was in and why I was doing these things.

I can understand that rage because I’ve been there myself. Victims of child molestation are asked to carry 100 percent of the burden all of the time and it gets pretty heavy. We want it lifted off our shoulders but we don’t know who to go to for help in shedding the burden. And when the person who molested us refuses to accept responsibility and lift the burden it creates rage.

Today, divorce and family chaos are the norm. They live under a cloud of impending doom. Young people today are afraid of dying, but even more fearful of living. Just as I was, today’s young people are racing to nowhere.

We have families nowadays who don’t know why they are families or what real families are. You look at kids today and wonder why more and more of them are joining gangs. The gangs become their families – they are more like families than are their own.

In the book I tried to get the adults to see what their children are seeing 24 hours a day. Parents may be busy doing all the things they need to do to put food on the table but their seven-year-old child does not get it. All the seven-year-old child gets is the fact that they are losing out on something, so they are going to find someone to lift them up, someone to embrace them, somebody to show that they care. And that’s going to be their peers or gang members or it could be a child molester.

This is something we are going to have to understand. If we are going to have families we have to know where we are going to put them in the spectrum of our lives.

"Boys don’t tell the story because they don’t want us to think that they are not men. We have statutes of limitations that state that after a specified number of years the crime cannot be prosecuted. But I didn’t tell my story for more than 30 years because it was that hurtful and that painful to tell the story.

Tragically, what the law has done is to expand the definition of child molestation - and they have watered it down. I know first hand what child molestation is, and is not merely a hug. Yet today a hug can be classed as a crime. The courts should treat child molesters the same as murderers. There was a time when I would rather have been murdered than molested, because then I wouldn’t have had to live with it any longer.

We live in a selfish society where everybody wants attention. Parents want more attention than their children when they’re sitting at the dinner table. Kids crave attention but can’t get it – and then we’re surprised when the children get into trouble seeking it elsewhere.

The family is the very root of society. When the family disintegrates, society disintegrates.

We treat marriage like a date, instead of a lifetime commitment. People get divorced for only one reason: one or both of them are selfish. It’s all about them.

It’s not all about the people around them, especially the children. Every marriage goes through problems but today instead of meeting those problems with the understanding that it’s more than merely the parents that are involved, they simply throw in the towel and pay no attention to the damage they cause their children.

I wrote that if divorce can be avoided, if the marriage can be mended– and in most cases it can – we owe it to our kids to do so.

In the rare cases where it can’t, we can still raise strong, secure children if we take the time to understand what our children are going through, and look at the process through their eyes.

I wrote the book because I want people to understand what a child is thinking – that’s the point of view I took; ‘here’s what a child is thinking’.

As I wrote, everything that’s wrong with our society today is the result of a failure of love. We simply have to learn to love the last, the lost and the least, and especially our children. And we have to show them they are loved.

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He has overcome many obstacles in his life, and his new book "Twice Adopted" is a candid account of how he met these hardships - and beat them. But Reagan recalls how his adoption and the public divorce of his parents made for troubled seas. After being sexually molested,...
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2004-00-29
Wednesday, 29 September 2004 12:00 AM
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