Tags: L.A. | Times | Banks | Bono

L.A. Times Banks on Bono

Tuesday, 08 March 2005 12:00 AM

THE LEFT COAST REPORT
A Political Look at Hollywood

When a conservative group, Citizens United, put up billboards in the heart of Hollywood taunting the lefties, you knew someone was going to respond.

When a conservative group, Citizens United, put up billboards in the heart of Hollywood taunting the lefties, you knew someone was going to respond.

That someone was Whoopi Goldberg, who spoke via a gift of confection minus the affection.

The billboards featured some of the more outspoken celebs from the past campaign season, including Barbra Streisand, Michael Moore and Whoopi herself.

Also on the displays were messages that mocked GOP opponents with the phrase "Four more years. Thank you, Hollywood!"
 
It turns out that Whoopi sent Citizens United a box of chocolates with a note that read as follows:

"Gentlemen: I didn't realize how little faith you had in your candidate. To give so much power to folks like myself is amazing. I thought you all said that the President won because of what he stood for, and now I come to find out that the only reason he got elected was because of people like me. This doesn't say much for your candidate. Enjoy the chocolate."

Sources indicate that the candy was consumed by the personnel of the C.U. offices.

The Left Coast Report wonders if what the staffers really consumed were some old Slim-Fast bars.

Anna Nicole Smith's Body Billboard

As you may remember, the last time Anna Nicole Smith acted as a presenter at an awards show, she appeared as though she could have used a translator and an assist off stage.

A few months back, while attempting to introduce Kanye West at the American Music Awards, Smith had difficulty getting the words "Like my body?" to flow off her tongue.

Smith's performance apparently caught the attention of a big shot or two over at MTV, because the MTV Video Music Awards decided to hire her for its show in Sydney, Australia. 

Smith proved she was up to the MTV challenge. Evidently she ripped off her dress and showed her vividly decorated MTV logo-laden glands.

She also revealed a tattoo of a very buxom mermaid that was strategically placed on her back.

The Left Coast Report hears that Smith, as a result of her behavior, is now on the short list to host next year's Oscars.

L.A. Times Banks on Bono

The Los Angeles Times has established that it is a newspaper like no other.

It has recommended that U2 front man Bono be made president of the World Bank.

Yes, according to the Times, the Greenspan of the global set ought to be an Irish rocker.

Editor Andres Martinez has picked Bono for the post, which will be available in May.

"Don't be fooled by the wraparound sunglasses and the excess hipness," Martinez cautions. "Bono is deeply versed in the issues afflicting the least-developed nations of the world."

The Left Coast Report says the L.A. Times has tapped a great resource for international positions -- aging rock stars. How about for International Food Czar we grab Meat Loaf, for Global Drug Czar we snag Keith Richards and for International Linguist we fetch Ozzie Osbourne?

Geena Davis' Presidential Molding

It's "The American President" in reverse. It's "Air Force One" in pantyhose. Heck, it's "7th Hillary Heaven."

ABC is planning a likely new dream Dem TV series called "Commander-in-Chief."

Geena Davis of "Thelma and Louise" fame is set to portray the first female president of the United States.

The show will debut in the form of a two-hour pilot. If it makes the cut, the plan is to have it compete with rival network NBC's "The West Wing," which features a lefty prez played by Martin Sheen.

Do you suppose it's just a coincidence that the first time a woman is set to portray an American president on a would-be high-profile TV series, a certain slippery New York senator is dropping hints that she's planning a real-life presidential listening tour?

Dr. June Speakman, a political science professor at Roger Williams University in Rhode Island, told the New York Post, "If Geena Davis is portrayed as a decisive strong leader, I think it might help shape voters' perceptions."

The Left Coast Report knows that Hollywood would never try to shape voters' perceptions to try and get Hillary elected. Riiight.

Trekkie Treasure

Don't mess with Trekkies.

UPN recently announced that it was canceling "Star Trek: Enterprise," a Star Trek prequel that features former "Quantum Leap" actor Scott Bakula.

A group called Trek United seeks the production of another "Star Trek: Enterprise" season.

The group's supporters have already held worldwide rallies in an effort to persuade UPN's parent company, Paramount, to reverse its decision.

It turns out that the Trekkie folks are raising some serious Trekkie dough.
 
The Trek United Web site says that "investors in commercial space flight industry have anonymously contributed $3 million to the TrekUnited campaign to support our goal to fund a fifth season of Star Trek: Enterprise!"

The group claims that it has a "legally binding pledge" from three donors. These donors are described as "some of the main entrepreneurs in the commercial space flight industry."

The anonymous benefactors posted a statement explaining why they believe this campaign deserves such a generous amount.

"We are in the commercial space flight industry and would like to testify that at least one out of two of all the actual entrepreneurs involved in this industry has been inspired by Star Trek," the statement reads.

The donors add, "'Star Trek' has inspired us, and particularly 'Enterprise,' with its superb theme song that tells so much about our struggle to move space travel forward and closer to the public."
 
The Left Coast Report has learned that two of the anonymous supporters of the Trekkie campaign are William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy. The third is Howard Dean.

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