Tags: Hilary | Swank's | Dark | Secret

Hilary Swank's Dark Secret

Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:00 AM

The made-for-cable flick she’s touting is a docudrama on the American women’s suffrage movement called “Iron Jawed Angels.”

Swank is scheduled to attend a screening at the Library of Congress with female senators, House Minority Leader

Swank confessed to the Washington Post that she hadn’t been the best role model for would-be voters regardless of gender. She whispered, “That’s my dark secret – as we speak, I haven’t registered to vote.”

The Left Coast Report wonders if Swank’s speech is going to include the line, “I’m not a voter, but I play one on cable TV.”

When celebs, including

Simmons and Dash threw some cold water on the unsuspecting libs.

“The [expletive] y’all doing is corny!” Simmons declared. “You have to at least include people. We are not included!”

As Dash stood at his side, Simmons lectured the left-leaning lot for several minutes, slamming the event’s sponsor, Victory Campaign 2004, for paying no heed to Hip Hop Summit’s requests for voter registration funding.

Simmons noted: “I’m spending my own money. We’ve sent you proposals, we’ve called, but we’ve not gotten a positive response.”

The two abruptly stormed out.

Simmons exposed a skeleton in the Dem closet when he told the New York Daily News, “A room of 700 people and almost everyone was white! The Republicans would look more inclusive.”

The Left Coast Report says the real deal is the Republicans are more inclusive.

The cards are being mailed to all of the homes that Catherine and hubby

Zeta-Jones has been made the poster girl for an anti-smoking group that wants the actress to toss on the old ash heap any on-screen smoking scenes.

Phoenix Alliance, a Utah-based organization, has targeted Zeta-Jones because of her portrayal in “Chicago” of stogie-puffing Velma Kelly.

Spokeswoman Courtney Moffet told World Entertainment News Network, “We're going to send mail to every one of her properties until she stops accepting roles in which she smokes.”

The Left Coast Report asks who the male poster child for the anti-smoking zealots is going to be – perhaps New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg?

Carrey tells Playboy magazine he has given up almost all pleasurable pursuits and is living like a monk.

“I don’t eat wheat. I don’t eat dairy. I don’t smoke cigarettes. I don’t smoke pot. All these things I’ve enjoyed. I live very sparingly,” the actor explains. Carrey goes on to say, “Heaven is the other side of that feeling you get when you’re sitting on the couch and you get up and make a triple-decker sandwich. It’s on the other side of that, when you don’t make the sandwich. It’s about sacrifice ... “

The Left Coast Report hears that when Hugh Hefner read Carrey’s interview he decided to give up one of his seven girlfriends.

As if

After the raid on Neverland, the dancing defendant rented a Beverly Hills estate for approximately 100 grand a month.

To make sure his new digs were free of evil spirits, Jackson hired a voodoo witch doctor, according to the Enquirer.

It must have been quite a scene as Jackson and his witch doctor moved through the mansion-burning sage.

The Left Coast Report thinks moving from the Jehovah’s Witnesses to rabbi counseling to the Nation of Islam to Voodoo sounds like spirituality, Hollywood style.

It seems that

A sex shop in Manhattan is particularly upset at Jackson. DeMask is concerned that people will think that the rubber bustier Jackson wore in the infamous stunt was flimsy.

The store manager told the New York Post: “There’s no way it would have ripped that way. We’re known for putting together solid, long-lasting pieces.”

Will the shop sue? Only time will tell.

But for now, Terri Carlin, a bank employee in Knoxville, Tenn., has filed a class-action lawsuit claiming “outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury.” Defendants include Jackson,

The Left Coast Report imagines that for next year’s halftime show the NFL will book Debby Boone.

Did you hear the one about the German cannibal who was convicted of manslaughter for killing and eating a willing victim? It’s no joke.

The twisted soul was fanaticizing about eating a man, so he did what determined cannibals do – advertised for a victim on the Internet.

Sadly, he actually found a computer engineer who dreamed of becoming cuisine.

Now, according to his lawyer, the real-life Hannibal has received several inquiries from film companies about making a movie of the depraved saga. The cannibal’s lawyer dismissed media reports that were circulating in Britain and Germany that actor

“Where are we living?” the magazine Der Spiegel asked. “Has all measure of the difference between normal and abnormal, right and wrong, of morality and decency been lost?”

The Left Coast Report notes that’s what conservatives have been asking for the last 20 years.

For archives of The Left Coast Report,

Get your FREE copy of James Hirsen’s New York Times best-selling book, “


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The made-for-cable flick she's touting is a docudrama on the American women's suffrage movement called "Iron Jawed Angels." Swank is scheduled to attend a screening at the Library of Congress with female senators, House Minority Leader Swank confessed to the Washington...
Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:00 AM
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