Tags: Attack | the | Drones

Attack of the Drones

Tuesday, 21 May 2002 12:00 AM

OK, I admit it, I looked forward to the release of the movie. I watched the previews online ahead of time. And yes, this weekend I went to see it. Twice. As someone who was a mere kid when the original Star Wars film came out in the seventies, this is a storyline that has me captivated.

Even though "The Phantom Menace" lagged considerably behind the others, the newest Star Wars film has definitely re-energized the entire LucasFilms franchise.

One of the things I have loved about all the movies is the way they articulate right and wrong. Morality is always a hard thing to communicate in the public forum, and the great PC'ers of our time have yet to touch the Spider-Men and Jedi Knights of this world!

Too bad Washington, D.C., couldn't come away with a little inspiration from this summer's big blockbuster hits.

Last week, when the ignorant Tom Daschle and Richard Gephardt trotted out their press conferences, they fully believed they had the knockout punch for the Bush administration:

"What did he know, and when did he know it?"

It was a resoundingly familiar phrase that even the senator from New York couldn't restrain herself from uttering.

It's laughable that these three could feign such ignorance on the issue of a threat of a possible, yet vague, no information specific, but "maybe, possibly, someday in the future, a plane might be hijacked" kind of warning.

It is laughable because, in the case of Sen. Daschle (no relation to Amidala) and Rep. Gephardt (who does resemble Rep. Binks a bit), they know

Carl Cameron first reported it on Fox News. Within eight small hours of going on international news stations and banging the drum on why they were left out of the information about the warning, it turns out, despite all of their melodramatic (gosh, don't I look presidential) dronings, they DID know!

Had they only taken the time to call up their own party's representatives on the intelligence committee in each of their respected bodies, they would have discovered that Congress had been given the same information!

Getting their sound bites out there, of course, was part of the whole imperial plan that they had in place, and on that level, their secret plans were a success (plus the fact they felt it necessary to hide them away in a droid).

However, when the light-saber rattling came to a halt, the force was with the republic. How can you tell?

Well, CNN, for example. Twenty-four hours after the droners (who may indeed be from a planet that has been erased from the universal archives), CNN (Darth Sidious' network) released the results of its polling data that said, in nearly 80 percent numbers, that the American people considered what Sen. Daschle (not Amidala) and Rep. Gephardt (cousin of Jar Jar) said as nothing more than a ploy to grant the Democrats sole chancellery powers into our intelligence investigations.

Master Jedis Bush and Cheney, not to be fooled by this tomfoolery, are gladly cooperating with any inquiry of legitimacy.

What about Jabba the Hut, standing there on the Senate floor rambling about security issues in the White House today? Hmmm, I know that Jabba's language was always subtitled in the films, so maybe I'm missing some of it. But maybe she should look into the reports that made our intelligence and security information so readily available – like when her husband decided to declassify everything and then sell it?

The battle that lies ahead of us is a harsh one. The vice president reminded all of us that evil people do exist and wish to harm Americans.

Unfortunately, simple-minded people also exist and wish to harm Americans, and, quite tragically, many of them are occupying way too many offices of Congress.

Where is that Master Yoda when you need him?

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OK, I admit it, I looked forward to the release of the movie. I watched the previews online ahead of time. And yes, this weekend I went to see it. Twice. As someone who was a mere kid when the original Star Wars film came out in the seventies, this is a storyline that...
Attack,the,Drones
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2002-00-21
Tuesday, 21 May 2002 12:00 AM
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