Tags: And | Who | Was | That | Taking | Off | His

And Who Was That Taking Off His Shoes at the Airport Checkpoint?

Friday, 31 May 2002 12:00 AM

It's Tuesday, May 29. The time is about 6:00 p.m. The place – the screening station at MCO – Orlando International Airport. And just who is that man standing back there with his arms outstretched? Who is that man being patted down? Who is that man taking his shoes off?

Why, it's … the governor? The president's brother? Yup! The wonderful screeners at Orlando were giving the full treatment to Gov. Jeb Bush!

So, there you go. Any security screening system that would submit the governor of a state, the president's brother, to the full search is clearly and obviously broken.

It's all for show. As that Israeli expert said, we are looking for weapons while we should be looking for terrorists. If the security effort was focused on finding PEOPLE who are threats instead of nose-hair scissors, we would all be a lot safer.

Oh – another one for you. This one from SFO, San Francisco International. Greg Miller received an injury to his jaw. As a result, his jaw was wired shut.

There is one real big problem with having your jaw wired shut. What if you need to barf? What if you blow lunch? Simple – you would choke to death. You would die. Drown in your own vomit.

The solution? Wire clippers. You carry a small pair of wire clippers with you wherever you go. So, that's what Greg Miller did. He carried wire clippers. His wire clippers had a sticker on them from his local airport stating that the clippers were a medical necessity.

So … Greg Miller arrives at the San Francisco airport. The security screener won't let him through. Not with those wire clippers. Miller tries to explain. The screener won't let him through. Miller tries to get help from the American Airlines official on duty. The American Airlines hack was "too busy" just then to help Miller.

Finally Miller gave up the clippers and got on the airplane. The flight attendants told him that they had nothing they could use to pry his jaws apart should he (a) have to sit next to a fleshy flier in a tank top, or (b) run into turbulence that would cause nausea and an episode of vomiting.

He did make it home to College Station, Texas, OK. He might even be listening now on WTAW. American Airlines says they'll look into it.

OH … I almost forgot. How did Greg Miller hurt his jaw? He was shot. Shot by a sniper. Shot by a Taliban sniper. Shot near Kandahar. He was shot fighting the war on terrorism.

Again – concentrating on the weapon instead of the person.

What idiocy!

As I understand it, the FBI can't do anything under the new guidelines that you, as a private citizen, couldn't do. So why are so-called civil libertarians so upset? Save the protests for something that really matters.

The World Cup kicks off (yuk yuk) in South Korea today. It will take about 30 excruciating days to get through this tournament. America won't win. Americans don't particularly care. One good NASCAR race can generate more revenue than an entire season of soccer in virtually any European country – not to mention more excitement.

By the way, you do know that Koreans are going to be showcasing one of their favorite meals to their international visitors during the games, don't you? When you order a hot dog at the World Cup you may get just exactly what you asked for. Fido fillet and puppy pate on the menu. I wonder if Chihuahuas give you gas?

This was a "vent" in today's Atlanta Constitution:

So ... you have retired into "comfortable poverty"? Check out the county workers in Galveston County, Texas. See if they're retiring with the paltry retirement income you're enjoying.

I saw a picture in the paper this morning of a gondolier protest in Venice, Italy. They're protesting the illegal immigrants who infest (that's the right word, "infest") the streets and alleys of Venice selling Louis Vitton knock-offs and other junk. OK, I know. Not a big deal for those of us here.

But I visited Venice about two years ago. The place absolutely stunned me. What an incredibly beautiful city – and believe me, the street hawkers are doing their bit to make it as ugly as they can. Everywhere you go these cretins have their cloths spread in the middle of the street covered with purses, luggage and whatnot. Real pests.

I hope the gondoliers win this one. Then we can have another protest against the incredible prices charged by gondoliers.

More on the saga of government education.

We go to West Palm Beach, Fla., where Palm Beach County high school students are taking a new history exam this week. To pass this exam students only have to get 23 out of 100 multiple choice questions right. That's fewer than 25 percent of the questions. Just 39 right answers out of 100 gets you a B. Answer just over half of the questions right and you get an A.

Only in the wonderful world of government can failure be acceptable and mediocrity be judged as excellent.

I have received about 20 e-mails asking me if I saw the confrontation between Sean Hannity and libertarian Harry Browne on "Hannity & Colmes" the other night. No, I didn't. I do understand, though, that Hannity was absolutely livid with Browne's stance on such matters as drug legalization.

Look – I've known Hannity for almost 10 years. I think he's great. Yes, we have differences on some issues. Some people believe that freedom is just fine, so long as people aren't free to do something that you personally think is wrong. I used to feel the same way. I grew out of it.

True personal liberty is tough for some folks to handle. Give them some slack, though. Remember, if two people agree on everything, one of them isn't necessary.

Yesterday I gave Georgia Tech a rough time. The school caught over 130 students in a cheating scandal. They were found to be guilty of violating the Georgia Tech Honor Code. Not one was expelled. Only one was suspended. So much for enforcing an honor code.

I feel this lax enforcement has diminished the value of every diploma the school issues. Evidently others agree. Here's just a part of one e-mail we received at "The Neal Boortz Show."

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It's Tuesday, May 29.The time is about 6:00 p.m.The place - the screening station at MCO - Orlando International Airport.And just who is that man standing back there with his arms outstretched?Who is that man being patted down?Who is that man taking his shoes off? Why,...
Friday, 31 May 2002 12:00 AM
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