Tags: Always | Think | Global | Warming | When | That | Happens

'I Always Think of Global Warming When That Happens …'

Wednesday, 15 May 2002 12:00 AM

Those were the words from the female side of the CNN anchor team this morning when her male counterpart reported on a large section of ice breaking off from the Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica.

Typical. Who knows how many thousands of people are watching Carol, or whatever her name is, when she comes out with her "I always think of global warming" comment. Many of these people will take this as an authoritative comment about the cause of that new iceberg, and they'll go into the hinterlands to spread the "global warming" gospel.

There's a problem, though. The new iceberg the size of Maryland is in Antarctica. Antarctica is experiencing record cold temperatures. It's below freezing down there. Way below freezing – all the time – and getting colder.

Say, Carol, tell me how these cold-and-getting-colder temperatures contributed to that ice breaking off!

Is the earth warming? Perhaps. Hear this, though – there is no scientific proof that the miniscule rise in the temperature of the earth is being caused by man.

The FACT is that we are going through a period of increased sunspot activity on the sun. The sun is burning hotter. Some areas of the world are warming up a degree or two because of this.

Remember – it wasn't too many years ago that the same eco-morons who are ranting about global warming were warning us of another ice age. All they have is their computer models to go from – and computer models don't constitute proof.

We just need more anchor airheads out there spouting the "global warming" words every time an iceberg floats away from the South Pole.

In Clayton County, Ga., there's a statue in front of the courthouse. The statue shows a police officer bending over to help a small child. Nice image, huh? A police officer befriending a child. Traditional Americana stuff.

Well, in Clayton County we also have a lawyer by the name of Lee Sexton. He's a criminal defense lawyer.

Defense lawyers stand between the police power of the state and ordinary folks like thee and me. The state has the power to deprive us of life, liberty or property. The role of a defense lawyer is to make sure the strict requirements of our Constitution are met before the state can act against us.

OK ... enough buttering-up of defense lawyers. This particular one, Lee Sexton, doesn't like that statue in front of the Clayton County courthouse. The statue puts police officers in a positive light. He's afraid some juror might see that statue when he enters the courthouse and thus form a positive opinion of cops. So Sexton is thinking of filing a lawsuit to have the statue removed.

Isn't that just wonderful? A lawyer who objects to police officers being presented to the public in a positive light.

Only in America.

While we're speaking of lawyers, let me give you this warning. You had better keep listening to "The Neal Boortz Show." The ratings need to remain high. Spread the word. Tell your friends.

For if you stop listening – if the ratings go down – I'll simply step out from behind this microphone and start practicing law again. This time it won't be civil suits and real estate closings. This time I'll grow a ponytail and start representing heinous criminals.

You've heard me in action on the radio. Do you want me defending murderers and rapists?! You know I'll get them off ... and send them right back into society to plague YOU!

I've heard and read quite a lot in the last 24 hours about suspicions that terrorists may have entered the U.S. illegally by hiding in one of these huge cargo containers that arrive by the millions from overseas.

Know what? Maybe they did! If so, just add the 12 or so Muslim terrorists who came to the U.S. in a cargo container to the hundreds that are already here living among us.

Remember … the Sept. 11 attacks weren't the result of failures in airport security. The failures were with the INS, not baggage screeners. Our borders are porous.

Instead of taking steps to find people who are here illegally, Bush is working on the second "last" amnesty for illegals. Various Muslim organizations in the U.S. are poised to fight any proposal that would make it harder for Muslims to enter this country, or any proposal that would take the ones who have already entered illegally and send them home.

The terrorists who will carry out the next big attack on the U.S. are already here. Some of them may even have been born here. One American-born Palestinian in New Jersey was quoted as saying, "It doesn't matter who dies – just as long as they're Israeli."

The bomber is here. He's just waiting for his bomb belt.

Let's say that Osama bin Laden or some other Islamic radical wants to detonate a nuclear device somewhere in America. As we discussed, the people who would most probably carry out that attack are already in this country and living among us. They're Arabs, and they're Muslim. They may well be American-born. They might be citizens. But ... they're here.

What about their weapons? What about that bomb? What about the nuclear materials they would need to create a so-called dirty bomb? In place, in America? Maybe not. Maybe the components of a nuclear bomb are yet to arrive.

So … this question. We have the border protection assets. We have the Coast Guard. We have DEA agents. We have customs officers. Here are your choices:

Can you believe the latest Democratic broadside against President Bush? Democrats and their media enablers are upset that the Republican National Committee is sending pictures of the president to people who support the RNC with donations.

And just why are the Democrats upset? They have their boxers in a bunch because the pictures were taken on Sept. 11. They say that it's just "outrageous" that Republicans would actually distribute pictures taken on that particular day in return for donations.

Sorry. I just can't see what the big deal is here. Sept. 11 was one of the most important days in the history of the United States. Pictures of the president taken on that day have huge historical significance.

Perhaps this is what really upsets the left. They just can't stand the fact that it was a Republican in the White House on that day – and they don't want the American people to be reminded that the Democrats were mere bystanders when tragedy struck.

And just what is really bothering the leftists? Maybe it's the fact that Bush broke all Clinton fundraising records with this effort and his event on Tuesday night.

The Democrat temper tantrum isn't worthy of coverage ... but the leftist press really seems to like playing it up.

This affects Atlanta … but it's a wonderful lesson in the operation of government.

The Atlanta government schools are among the worst in the nation. Every parent who sends a child to an Atlanta government school is a child abuser.

The City of Atlanta schools spend about $13,000 per year for each pupil. That's about twice as much as a good private school education costs in Atlanta.

The Atlanta Board of Education sent out a directive to school administrators. Administrators were told to comb through their budgets and identify areas where cuts could be made.

The response? Not one single Atlanta government school administrator could identify one single area where one single nickel could be cut from spending. $13,000 per pupil, and nobody can figure out how to cut one dime from the budget.

Typical government. Local level, state level, federal level. Absolutely typical. When you can get your money at the point of a gun, there is no pressure to cut spending. Why reduce your own sense of bureaucratic power by reducing the amount of money you have to spend, when you can just go to the taxpayers and force them to ante up?

If the Atlanta Board of Education has any courage at all - if they have any interests in representing the taxpayers of the city of Atlanta - they'll tell the school administrators to give it another shot. Look for savings … look for budget cuts … and this time look as if your job depended on it.

You know the feeling. You're driving at a nice (legal) clip down a two-lane highway. About a quarter mile ahead you see a minivan pull out. You just know for an indisputable fact that you will catch up to the minivan in mere moments and that it will be going slower than the posted speed limit. Always expect the worse of minivan drivers. You won't be disappointed.

For years I've had the same feeling every time I see an e-mail from "somebody@aol.com." As soon as I see the "aol.com" I get this feeling that I'm going to regret reading the message. This feeling is based on years of perusing e-mail messages.

Simply put, people with AOL e-mail accounts don't exactly rank in the upper levels of those with thoughtful, intelligent comments. Exceptions? Sure there are exceptions … but generally the rule applies. AOL means "Absence of Logic."

Now – support! Redemption! I'm not the only one who feels this way!

Have you ever visited The Onion on the Internet? If not, here's your link. Go take a look … then come back and finish this bit. www.theonion.com.

Good stuff, huh? Here are just a few of today's headlines from The Onion.

Christian Weightlifter Bends Iron Bar to Show Power of God's Love

Latest News of Israeli-Palestinian Violence Makes Man Hungry for Falafel

It's called satire, and some people just don't get it. It takes a certain amount of intelligence to appreciate satire. The Onion is anti-stupid.

Now … this brings us back to AOL. Rob Siegel, the editor of The Onion, spoke to students at Northwestern University this week. He talked about those who just don't get the satire of The Onion. These people send him e-mails telling him that the stories are "dumb" and "insensitive."

These e-mails, according to Siegel, come primarily from AOL accounts. He calls AOL the "McDonald's of Internet Service Providers." Siegel Says, "McDonald's has a lower clientele than Wendy's and AOL has a lower clientele than Mindspring, so we get the dumb people."

Vindication!

Rosie O'Donnell talks about finding true love (in all the wrong places) on "Larry King Live" tonight. Cancel my appointments!

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Those were the words from the female side of the CNN anchor team this morning when her male counterpart reported on a large section of ice breaking off from the Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica. Typical.Who knows how many thousands of people are watching Carol, or whatever...
Always,Think,Global,Warming,When,That,Happens
1756
2002-00-15
Wednesday, 15 May 2002 12:00 AM
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