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Dr. Ruth Westheimer: Most People Want a Relationship

By    |   Friday, 19 June 2015 07:16 PM

Dr. Ruth Westheimer says that despite the widening sexual freedoms in today's society, most people still want to be involved in a secure and monogamous relationship and are not interested in hopping from bed to bed.

"I'm an optimist. I believe that most people want to have a relationship. They don't want to just go to bed. They don't even want to have a one-night stand," Westheimer said Friday on "The Steve Malzberg Show" on Newsmax TV.

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"They don't want to go to one of those clubs and have sex and go home. Most people want to have a relationship."

Not that forming that relationship is an easy task, says the famed sex therapist and author of the new memoir, "The Doctor is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life and Joie de Vivre," published by Amazon.

"It's difficult these days to keep a relationship. The women are working, there's a tremendous amount of pressure," Westheimer said.

"But basically that you can go home and have one — in sociology it's called the significant other, one person who is happy when they see you coming home."

"Your children, your wife. I believe that the family will survive even in this country, even with all the pressure because I'm an optimist."

Westheimer — who rocketed to stardom in the 1980s with her no-holds barred radio show in which she discussed sexual issues in explicit detail — is receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award this year, but not for her work in the psychology of sex.

She's being honored by the Jerusalem Film Festival this year for a series of documentaries she has made over the years, including one on Ethiopian immigrants.

There are many different sides to the spry, always-smiling sex guru, many of which she details for the very first time in her new book — like the fact that she was a sniper for the Israeli Army.

Yes, you read that correctly.

The German-born only child of Orthodox Jews, Westheimer was sent to Switzerland by her mother and grandmother in 1939 after her father was imprisoned by the Nazis. As she grew up in an orphanage, she learned her parents had been killed in a concentration camp, possibly Auschwitz.

"My entire family did not make it. I was an only child. I had a difficult time at the orphanage. I then went to Palestine. It's true. I was a sniper. I was badly wounded on my 20th birthday on both legs, but you know what? That's not why I'm short. I would've been short anyway," Westheimer said.

"[Why I was chosen] I will never know. It wasn't an act of heroism. In 1947-1948, all of us who were in Palestine went into some kind of service and for some reason they found out … that I can aim.... I was always 4-foot-7, I can run fast so they trained me to be a sniper."

"I'm very fortunate I've never killed anybody but I was instrumental in being on the rooftops of Jerusalem watching over the soldiers who had to check every car that came into the city. Then I got very badly wounded...."

Westheimer then studied in France and came to the United States on a visitor's visa.

"I wanted to visit an uncle to check out if he was as short as me since I didn't have family left and I was the only child and look what happened. I stayed, I studied, I taught, I just taught at Brooklyn College, I taught at Lehman College five or six years and right now … I'm still at Colombia," she told Steve Malzberg.

"The interesting thing, which has to do with the book, is I'm teaching a course that's not on sex. Everybody knows I talk about sex and I like to talk about it because I know when I talk about sex, you smile because you think about sex."

"My courses at the university are about family. The family in the media, on film, television, internet. That's one of the reasons I talk so much about family — because I never had a family."

But she now does.

"I have a daughter, a son-in-law, a son, a daughter-in-law and four grandchildren. I was married three times. The two first times were like tryouts. Like legalizing some love affairs. The third one was almost 40 years," Westheimer said.

But at the grand old age of 87, does Westheimer still have sex herself? Malzberg asked.

"Next question!" the spunky sex therapist shot back.

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Dr. Ruth Westheimer says that despite the widening sexual freedoms in today's society, most people still want to be involved in a secure and monogamous relationship and are not interested in hopping from bed to bed.
Ruth Westheimer, sex therapist, relationship
Friday, 19 June 2015 07:16 PM
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