Tags: Barack Obama | Obama | London | Olympics | business

If Obama Ran the Olympics

By Monday, 30 July 2012 01:37 PM Current | Bio | Archive

I felt drowsy while watching the Olympics — then closed my eyes when yet another Obama campaign ad popped up during the London games.

(AP Photo)

This hypnotic ad seemed to drone on forever, so much so that I began to imagine what the president might say if he was running the olympics:

"When American athletes win medals, they don't do that on their own," I heard President Obama saying. "Our athletes owe everything to our government, from the first moment they set foot on government roads and learn the '3 Rs' — racism, recycling and reproduction — in government indoctrination schools. And all have been inspired by my glorious example.

"No individual wins through personal effort, ability or intelligence," Obama continued. "All honors, praise and rewards belong only to the Collective . . . and, of course, to me as the Collective's Dear Leftward Leader. As one of my exemplars said, L'Etat c'est Moi, 'I am the state.'
"Therefore," President Obama continued, "I have just issued an Executive Order to customs to expropriate all Olympic medals that our Collective's athletes bring home. These medals will be melted down or sold, whichever brings more revenue, and the proceeds will be redistributed to further expand our people's government.
"We must expunge the bourgeois notion that individuals deserve to keep any fruits from their efforts," he said scornfully. "These athletes must be heavily taxed to pay their 'fair share.' The Collective must control how all wealth is redistributed.
"These individuals are merely 'winners in life's lottery,' gaining unfair benefits by a mix of luck, racism, sexism, homophobia, and stealing what rightly belongs only and always to the Collective.

"Sexism dominates these Olympics," snapped Obama. "The events are segregated into competitions of only men or only women. If affirmative action quotas mixed men and women in each event, we would see a huge redistribution of Olympic medal wealth.
"As a self-described 'Citizen of the World,' I am also disgusted by petty nationalism. Many of the Olympics' 205 flags in their very designs reflect how capitalist colonialists from centers of imperialist power such as London imposed today's national borders," said Obama. "Americans who win at the Olympics receive medals to the music of America's national anthem, which at least honors the Collective above the individual," said President Obama. "But I would prefer that all human effort be marked by playing 'The Internationale.'
"The Olympics is a 'teachable moment' to show humankind that all capitalist nations are being replaced by global governance, the erasure of artificial national borders, and a world Collectivist state in which all wealth will be expropriated and redistributed politically to serve the Collective.
"So why not have progressive, proletarian Olympic events — such as a cross-border run and swim? Why not medals for protestors who occupy Wall Street offices the longest? Or for bureaucrats who devise the fastest new ways to expropriate private property? My comrades should win gold for being the best at confiscating corporate gold," said President Obama.

"We need to outlaw the bigoted Olympic assumption that the fastest and most skilled deserve honor and rewards. What about those whose feelings are hurt because work offends them? Without me, who would redistribute the world's gold to those who prefer to do nothing?" asked Obama.

Frankly, I believe everyone on the planet should be given an Olympic certificate — but not gold — declaring that we all share the victory of the egalitarian Collective.

"We must banish this ancient Greek Olympic idea that individual excellence uplifts humankind, and that at the moment of triumph a winning individual receives divine blessing from Nike, the goddess of victory," droned President Obama.

I opened my eyes. The day's Olympics broadcast was over — replaced by more Obama commercials.

Everything I heard must have been a dream, I realized. After all, how could any American president claim that all wealth and reward belongs to the government, not to those who actually earned it?

What sane people would ever vote to put such a person in power? How long could this country survive such a collectivist megalomaniac — a new Roman Emperor Nero fiddling while America burns to the ground — as our ruler?

Lowell Ponte is co-author, with Craig R. Smith, of "Crashing the Dollar: How to Survive a Global Currency Collapse"; "The Inflation Deception: Six Ways Government Tricks Us . . . And Seven Ways to Stop It"; and "Re-Making Money: Ways to Restore America's Optimistic Golden Age." For a limited time, you can get a free postpaid copy of "The Inflation Deception" by calling 800-630-1494. Read more reports from Lowell Ponte — Click Here Now.

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Monday, 30 July 2012 01:37 PM
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