Tags: Biden Administration | April Fools | Satire

Finally – We Got the President We All Wanted

Finally – We Got the President We All Wanted

By Thursday, 01 April 2021 09:24 AM Current | Bio | Archive

Houston, Texas (April 1, 2021)  - Remember what seems like only yesterday when America was a deeply divided country, that terrible period before a charismatic uniting leader was swept into the White House by the greatest election margin of any president in U.S. history despite huge Congressional losses by his own party?

Even more remarkably, Joe Biden accomplished this tumultuous election victory without needing to explain what he stood for.

Yes, we all already knew what to expect from his exemplary achievements over nearly a half century of leadership. He was someone we can all trust for stable and incisive judgement, fairness, transparency and, above all, champion of democratic principles.

In short, he wasn’t at all like Donald Trump, and that was pretty much enough.

The Moderate Nice Guy

So, okay, sometimes real leaders need to make tough unilateral decisions that are in our best interests to prevent pesky and divisive partisan congressional bickering.

Like, for example, issuing a record of more than 50 executive actions. By the end of January, 11 days after taking office, President Biden had signed 42 executive orders, including: ending climate change by capping the Keystone XL pipeline and putting a pause on all new oil and gas drilling permits on federal lands and waters; terminating wall construction on the U.S. southern border along with Trump’s "Remain in Mexico" program for migrants waiting for legal asylum processing; and requiring that non-citizens who have entered the country illegally be counted in U.S. Census apportionment of additional Democratic Congressional representatives.

The Biden Vaccine Miracle

Former presidential nominee Joe Biden charged that his rival, Donald Trump, was simply "playing politics" with the Covid-19 crisis by offering confidence that a safe and effective vaccine would be made available before the 2020 election.

Never mind that by January 15, a week before Trump left office, 10.6 million Americans—including Joe Biden on December 21—had already been vaccinated.

After all, hadn’t Trump pretty much ignored the crisis? As Biden lamented on March 11, "A year ago, we were hit with a virus that was met with silence and spread unchecked—denials for days, weeks, then months."

And shouldn’t we be grateful to know that we may be allowed to hold small group, socially distanced back yard July 4th barbecues thanks to a February 25 Biden announcement that "We're moving in the right direction, though, despite the mess we inherited from the previous administration, which left us with no real plan to vaccinate all Americans?"

Solving the Border "Challenge"

Although everyone should recognize that there’s no real "crisis"just because record hundreds of thousands of undocumented Democratic voters are overwhelming our southern border, isn’t it also reassuring to know that we no longer separate families and lock children in cages as Biden claimed during the third Democratic debate?

Well, as reported by CNN, maybe the Obama-Biden administration did sometimes separate families on a case-by-case basis, and yes, they also placed children in structures later labeled as cages which came to be attributed - along with Obama-era images - to the Trump administration.

And sure, maybe the 17,000 migrant children in custody now - with as many as 690 children presently crowded in pods designed for 80 - are Coronavirus super-spreader disasters.

But don’t worry, they will each only be warehoused there temporarily until being provided with bus tickets to a neighborhood near you.

Healing America’s Systemic Racism

Remember when those primarily far-Right white supremist Trump supporters were burning, vandalizing and looting cities, demanding to defund the police, and releasing felons back into the streets?

Me neither.

Nevertheless, isn’t it comforting to know that Biden inked an executive order that abolishes Trump’s 1776 Commission which introduced outdated patriotic American history in public schools as an alternative to the New York Times 1619 Project teaching of America as a systemically racist nation?

And isn’t it great that Joe Biden has rescinded the Trump administration’s executive order that prohibited critical race theory (CRT) training for federal agencies and federal contractors so that they can learn about genetically inherited evils of "white privilege" and white fragility?"

Making America and the World Safer

Most important, isn’t a relief to finally have elected a Commander in Chief and leader of the free world who will rally our allies and adversaries around the common threats to humanity?

Someone who will rejoin the World Health Organization to combat dangerous propaganda that the Chinese virus was cooked up in a Wuhan virus petri dish – a deft negotiator who will make nice with Iran mullahs to renew a deal that will delay nuclear Armageddon for a couple more years until they test exempted intercontinental ballistic delivery missiles – and someone who has reentered the Paris Climate agreement to combat the greatest existential global threat of all… climate change?

Yup, everyone can sleep more peacefully now in confidence that finally got everything we all wanted:

An April Fool. 

Larry Bell is an endowed professor of space architecture at the University of Houston where he founded Sasakawa International Center for Space Architecture and the graduate space architecture program. His latest of 10 books, "What Makes Humans Truly Exceptional," (2021) is available on Amazon along with all others. Read Larry Bell's Reports — More Here.

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Yup, everyone can sleep more peacefully now in confidence that finally got everything we all wanted: An April Fool. 
April Fools, Satire
Thursday, 01 April 2021 09:24 AM
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