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Monday Dec 18 2017

The Tonight Show Starring with Jimmy Fallon

You guys, today President Trump gave a big speech on National Security. He focused on the three biggest threats to our country -- Russia, North Korea, and Omarosa.

At one point he said, "We will never lose sight of our values and their capacity to inspire, uplift, and renew." Then he realized someone left an old Obama speech in the teleprompter. "That doesn't sound like me at all. What just happened? Wall. Come on, Donald, improvise."

It was revealed that the Pentagon had a top secret program to investigate UFO’s and aliens. Which is why Trump announced plans to build a dome over the earth and make E.T. pay for it.

There was an 11-hour power outage at the airport in Atlanta yesterday. And people were stranded on the tarmac for six hours. Don't worry, though, flight attendants came through every hour with a thimble-size cup of room temperature water.



The Tonight Show Starring with Seth Meyers

Senator Bob corker said this weekend that he would support the Republican tax plan, despite not reading it. "Same," said trump about the constitution.

The Trump administration has banned the CDC from using seven words in official documents for next year's budget. The seven words are "Hillary Clinton actually won the popular vote."

The Trump administration has banned the CDC from using a list of seven words, including, vulnerable, entitlement, diversity, transgender, fetus, evidence-based, and science-based. And then Mike pence added his seven bad words, "Gosh, darn, nuts, heck, shoot, shucks," and the c-word which is just "Crud."

Hundreds of flights were cancelled today at the world's busiest airport in Atlanta due to a massive power outage yesterday. Experts are saying this could lead to as many as 30 texts from your mother.


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