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Tuesday Aug 22 2017

Conan

Mark Wahlberg has been named 2017’s highest-paid male actor. Today, Mark said, "I don’t know why either."

There were a lot of protestors at a rally today in Phoenix attended by President Trump and Vice President Pence. Things got awkward when it turned out that the "Impeach Trump" chants were being led by Mike Pence.

Before announcing his decision on Afghanistan, President Trump was said to have made a 'rigorous' review of the issue. Yes, Trump said, "I must have read at least four tweets about it!"

In his speech on Afghanistan, President Trump said, "Attack we will." Then Trump introduced his new military strategist: General Mad Dog Yoda.

There's a new beer coming out that contains marijuana. Unfortunately, the inventor cannot for the life of him remember how he made it.

India has outlawed its long, long practice of "instant divorce." However, India will still continue to offer its popular "Cool Ranch Divorce."

Arby's is celebrating the "Game of Thrones" season finale by offering its customers a giant turkey leg. It’s all part of their "Game of Thrones" tie-in, "Diarrhea is Coming."

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