Doris Wild Helmering is a nationally known marriage and relationship counselor, weight loss expert, television and radio personality, and business management coach. She is author of nine books, 1,200 newspaper columns, six e-booklets, and has written for Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Self, and Scripps Howard News Service. She has been a guest on OPRAH, Good Morning America, and CNN. She received the Alumni Merit Award from St. Louis University for advancing the field of psychotherapy and the Woman of Achievement Award from Soroptimist International. She was awarded clinical status in the American Group Psychotherapy Association and the International Transactional Analysis Association.

You can visit her website at: .

Tags: victim | counseling | procrastination | realtionships

Setting Yourself Up as a Victim

By Tuesday, 25 September 2018 04:12 PM Current | Bio | Archive

Often, people feel like victims in life. They think they have no control over what happens to them.

But what they don't think about are all the times they set themselves up to be victims. Here are some of the typical ways you can be sure to bring on some additional problems for yourself:

• Don’t get out of bed when the alarm goes off. Instead, keep pressing the snooze button.

• Don't have a leaky roof fixed.

• Don't follow the washing instructions on a favorite wool sweater.

• Don't send in your warranty cards.

• Have an important luncheon to attend and don't look up the directions on how to get there until you are walking out the door.

• Don't study for your exam until the night before.

• Wait until the deadline before filling out your college applications.

• Ignore the gas company's warning that you haven't paid your bill.

• Overschedule so you run late for every appointment.

• Go to exercise class, even though you have a pulled hamstring.

• Insist on picking up the tab, when you're flat broke.

• Make coffee every day at the office because you're the only woman.

• Go to a movie that will give you night­mares for months to come.

• Fix a big family dinner and then insist that you'll take care of all the dishes the following morning.

• Notice that a friend has burned a hole in your new coat and say, "Oh, it's OK."

• Agree to a 6 a.m. breakfast appointment with a client who consistently oversleeps.

• Share a well-guarded secret with someone who's a blabbermouth.

• Lend $50 to the person who hasn't paid you the last $50 he owes you.

• Let your driver's license expire.

• Don't pay your personal property tax, so that when it's time to get your car license, you have to do everything the last day of the month.

Can you think of any other ways that you set yourself up as a victim?

Check out Doris’ latest books, “The Boy Whose Idea Could Feed the World,” “The Parent Teacher Discussion Guide,” and “Thin Becomes You” at Doris’ web page:

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Often, people feel like victims in life. They think they have no control over what happens to them.
victim, counseling, procrastination, realtionships
Tuesday, 25 September 2018 04:12 PM
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