Doris Wild Helmering - Building a Better Marriage
Doris Wild Helmering is a nationally known marriage and relationship counselor, weight loss expert, television and radio personality, and business management coach. She is author of nine books, 1,200 newspaper columns, six e-booklets, and has written for Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Self, and Scripps Howard News Service. She has been a guest on OPRAH, Good Morning America, and CNN. She received the Alumni Merit Award from St. Louis University for advancing the field of psychotherapy and the Woman of Achievement Award from Soroptimist International. She was awarded clinical status in the American Group Psychotherapy Association and the International Transactional Analysis Association.

You can visit her website at: .

Tags: relationships | equality | smothering

Don't Smother a Relationship

Doris Wild Helmering, LCSW., BCD By Wednesday, 14 September 2016 04:18 PM EDT Current | Bio | Archive

Any relationship should support equity between partners: give and take.

A man told me in therapy the other day that he was bad because he was too good.

He has a bad habit of doing too much in a relationship. Consequently, his relationships end because the women feel smothered and eventually pull away.

What does he do that ultimately causes every relationship to terminate? Here’s a partial list he made for me entitled “How to Smother.”

Make sure you hug her the minute you see her. No matter what she’s doing, come up behind her and rub her back. When she’s fixing dinner or doing a project around the house, offer to do it for her.

Just before you leave from work, call her to say good morning. When you leave for lunch, call and tell her where you’re going. When you leave work at night, check to see if she wants to get together even though you know she planned to be with her sister that evening.

Offer to pick up lumber to fix her deck and buy shrubs for the front of her house.

Tell her you forgive her for being late even before she apologizes.

Be available to anytime she wants to get together and always drop your plans.

Arrange to bring all your bills and paper work to her house so you can both work in the same room.

Encourage her to pursue exercising and reading while you clean her house.

Keep hanging around her house even though she has a date with her girlfriends hoping they’ll invite you to go to dinner with them.

While she’s using the bathroom, make the bed and lay out her clothes. Press her skirt and blouse if it’s wrinkled.

Get up when eating to get all the unexpected little extras during the meal.

Insist that she choose the restaurant, movie or activity of her liking.

If this is you, stop. Remember, if a relationship is going to make it, one essential ingredient is equity between the partners; that is, a give and take in the relationship.

© 2024 NewsmaxHealth. All rights reserved.

A man told me in therapy the other day that he was bad because he was too good.He has a bad habit of doing too much in a relationship.
relationships, equality, smothering
Wednesday, 14 September 2016 04:18 PM
Newsmax Media, Inc.

Sign up for Newsmax’s Daily Newsletter

Receive breaking news and original analysis - sent right to your inbox.

(Optional for Local News)
Privacy: We never share your email address.
Join the Newsmax Community
Read and Post Comments
Please review Community Guidelines before posting a comment.
Find Your Condition
Get Newsmax Text Alerts

The information presented on this website is not intended as specific medical advice and is not a substitute for professional medical treatment or diagnosis. Read Newsmax Terms and Conditions of Service.

Newsmax, Moneynews, Newsmax Health, and Independent. American. are registered trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc. Newsmax TV, and Newsmax World are trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc.

© Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved
© Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved