I know an accountant whose house was about paid for. His wife wanted to take the money they had in savings and finish paying off the house. He didn’t want to do this because the money he had in savings was making more interest than he was losing on interest payments.

Even after seeing the figures in black and white, his wife still wanted the house free and clear. She didn’t want to take any chances that she might lose their home.

Even though it did not make sense economically, the fellow paid off the house.

This man was a real friend to his wife. Despite the money he lost, he took care of her emotionally.

Take the following test to determine if you are a true friend to your partner. Answer each statement with a yes or no:

1. You make a point of asking how a meeting or an appointment went that you know your mate was concerned about.

2. You remember to say “good luck” when your mate is about to embark on a difficult task such as confronting a co-worker, making a presentation, or talking to your child’s teacher.

3. When your mate asks you to do a favor, you usually say yes without hesitating and needing to think about the request.

4. You take responsibility for the times when you have acted badly and you apologize.

5. You volunteer to do things for your mate such as picking up dry cleaning, returning a shirt, or taking the car in for an inspection.
 

6. If your partner has a headache in the morning, you make a point of calling later in the day to see how he or she is feeling.
 

7. When your partner suggests going for a ride, watching a movie, or going out for dinner you usually respond to these suggestions with enthusiasm.
 

8. You are conscious of how much money you spend on yourself and do not spend more than your fair share.
 

9. When your mate is ill, you comfort and take care of him or her, and you do not get angry or pout because you have to change plans or take more responsibility in the house.
 

10. You feel joy when your partner receives recognition outside the home and you suggest a celebration. You feel some sadness when things go badly for your mate, and you offer comfort.
 

11. You are careful how much you criticize your mate or make helpful suggestions as to how he or she might do things differently.

What’s your score?

If you have nine or more yes answers, you know how to give emotional support to your mate and your partner has a good friend in you.

If you have less than nine yes answers, you’re not particularly attuned to your partner’s emotional needs. Work on it.

Check out Doris’ latest books, “The Boy Whose Idea Could Feed the World,” “The Parent Teacher Discussion Guide,“ and “Thin Becomes You” at Doris’ web page: http://www.doriswildhelmering.com.