Some things we simply never get over, no matter how much we try, no matter how many activities we join, no matter how many pilates classes we attend, no matter how much we put one foot in front of the other.
Bill is in his mid-sixties. Nine years ago he was a chief executive of a prestigious company. The management team changed and he was asked to resign. He was devastated. He had been with the company for over thirty years, sometimes working sixty to seventy hours a week. When told he was being let go, to his credit, Bill immediately hustled another job.
Today he works for a little less than half the pay, but since his children are through college and his house is paid for, he and his wife manage. It’s just that he has never been able to entirely shake off the bad feelings from being let go. He doesn’t dwell on it. He doesn’t go around and bad mouth the company. He still sees some friends who are with the company. But always he fights twinges of depression.
Five years ago Sally was forced to give up her big old house and move to another state when her husband was transferred. Today she lives in a beautiful new house. Everyone who visits tells her how lovely it is. She has worked hard to make it nice. Yet periodically she still yearns for her old home.
Susan and Jim were married for twenty-six years. They had five children. Jim moved up the corporate ladder. Susan took care of the children. When it was announced that Jim was to become president of the company and relocate to the company’s headquarters, Jim told Susan that he was not taking her or the family with him. Instead he took his secretary, whom he subsequently married.
It’s now ten years later. The children are raised. Susan has completed her MBA and has a job she enjoys. She has dated many men and has had two semi-serious relationships. She has good friends and an active social life. Susan has done everything the books tell her to do in order to move on and not look back. Still, she fights a low-level depression and her self-esteem has never quite recovered since Jim left her.
Sometimes people don’t completely get over a loss.
Check out Doris’ latest books, “The Boy Whose Idea Could Feed the World,” “The Parent Teacher Discussion Guide,“ and “Thin Becomes You” at Doris’ web page: http://www.doriswildhelmering.com.
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