Dr. Aline Zoldbrod is a well-known Boston-based licensed psychologist, individual and couples therapist, and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is the author of three commercially published books about sexuality and relationships. Her book, SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It has been translated into four languages and was recognized as one of the top three sex-help books of the year. She is an adjunct faculty member at the University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program. You can find her at sexsmart.com.
Tags: marriage | men | affirmation | couples therapy

Men Need More Positive Affirmation

Tuesday, 16 June 2015 04:51 PM Current | Bio | Archive

Giving your partner the feeling that you care about them and that they are special to you is a sure divorce-buster, according to researcher Dr. Terri L. Orbuch, a social psychologist who is involved in the Early Years of Marriage Research Project.

Dr. Orbuch notes that merely doing or saying small things, often to make your partner feel loved and noticed, has been shown to prevent divorce.

What may surprise you is that according to Dr. Orbuch’s analysis, men seem to need these affirmations more than women.

Men who do not feel affirmed by their wives are twice as likely to divorce as those who do.

Need some ideas for positive affirmations? Dr. Orbuch lists things like tucking a sweet note in a husband’s wallet or giving a shoulder rub after a long day of work.

In my experience as a couple’s therapist, I have found that kind, undemanding texts saying that you miss your spouse are effective, as are asking about if they want to a special activity that you would set up for the two of you.

For wives, the number one thing that makes them feel special, is simply being listened to.

If your wife says she is going to the doctor later in the day, writing yourself a note to ask her how it went, and then asking her about it that same day, is a powerful message that she is important to you, and that what is important to her is important to you.

So how are you going to show your partner that you care today?

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Men who do not feel affirmed by their wives are twice as likely to divorce as those who do.
marriage, men, affirmation, couples therapy
Tuesday, 16 June 2015 04:51 PM
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