Tags: Health Topics | Diabetes | Heart Disease | Obesity | emotions | feelings | perspective

When Power Is the Best Revenge

When Power Is the Best Revenge
(Iqoncept/Dreamstime)

By Saturday, 22 August 2020 07:25 AM Current | Bio | Archive

As a psychotherapist, I have evolved my helping technique from one primarily centered on feelings to one centered on rational thinking, and found that the result is generally amazingly powerful, even with long-term behavioral and emotional problems.

A man called my SiriusXM radio show because his physician told him he must start eating vegetables and fruit.

I asked why he wasn’t consuming them already and he became quite agitated.

He has been blind his whole life and spent much of his childhood in an institutional setting.

He related how horrible it was that he was actually force-fed vegetables and fruit.

According to his story, his mouth would be pried open and food shoved into it with him fighting all the way. His memories were still vivid and horrific, as that was not the only treatment he endured which could have come out of a Hollywood horror movie.

So here he is in his 40s, with the mere thought of vegetables or fruit causing him to label himself "phobic."

Yet the amount of meat and carbohydrates he consumes is making him a candidate for obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and more. I sympathized with his traumatic early experiences and supported him being upset with the memories.

I suggested he was seriously "pissed" and had a right to be.

Desiring revenge was a natural response of an individual wronged, no matter how many years later. His life was one long, endless attempt to attain revenge.

I suggested that his form of revenge was simply taking up too much of his life.

Revenge is great — I love it — but not the kind that doesn’t make you feel better and not the kind that bites you in the butt.

Here’s what I told him, "Sir, not eating these mostly yummy (don’t personally like cauliflower) foods is your way of getting back at all those people who hurt you. The problem is, they aren’t here anymore and you are hurting only yourself.

"What if you set up some veggies or some fruit on the table and decided you are now totally in control and have all the power you didn’t have as a child in that institute — to simply try tiny bites to decide if it was pleasing.

"What if, upon tasting the ripe peach or juicy cherry, that the thought of those people bullying you into eating fruits popped into your mind just as you were tasting it?

"This is what you do: You say out loud, 'You can’t make me eat this . . . I choose to eat this.' Now you are in the position of doing what you want and not what they want.

"Now you have a form of revenge (taking back the power) that doesn’t hurt you. Revenge techniques should never result in destruction to you."

His whole tone changed.

He seemed enthusiastic about getting back at them by now being the one in power, and not the vulnerable, powerless child who was helpless.

This perspective is quite useful for a myriad of repetitive behaviors or thoughts because rational points of view can definitely trump emotions.

And therein lies a truth that is often ignored: Sometimes we need to learn to endure pain because that process of being able to live with the hurt gives us the strength we need to build a better tomorrow.

Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Read Dr. Laura's Reports — More Here.

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DrLaura
Perspective is quite useful for a myriad of repetitive behaviors or thoughts because rational points of view can definitely trump emotions.
emotions, feelings, perspective, rational
587
2020-25-22
Saturday, 22 August 2020 07:25 AM
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