Neelia, a listener to my show, wrote, "I have my 1-year-old with me 24/7. I have had a few moms, even at-home moms who still put their kids in daycare, tell me I should put her in daycare.
"They say their kids really started to excel when they went to daycare. 'Your kid needs to see other kids eat to learn how to eat.'
"Are daycare kids really learning faster because they are around other kids eight to 10 hours a day, five days a week?
"Are there any studies that show kids raised by their mother are kinder, more intelligent?
"Don’t worry, Dr. Laura, she’s stuck with me! I will be the one to teach her."
"Just wondering what else I can say to these moms to stop them from telling me I need to put her in daycare."
The problem, Neelia, is that with respect to mothering, too many women are willing to believe that they are replaceable and virtually unnecessary in their child’s early growth and development.
Some because they are self-centered about their careers, etc. Others because they are ignorant. And still others because they are followers and collapse under the bullying, shaming pressure from women who have abdicated being actual mothers.
The comeback I've used for decades is, "If you were to die right now and come back tomorrow as a newborn, would you rather be in daycare, have a babysitter or nanny, or have the daily, loving attention of a mommy, and loved all day?"
That usually ends the discussion.
But not always.
Gillian, a listener, wrote that she is part of a Facebook group for her town where people post concerns, questions, and events.
She was taken aback by one particular post: "Daycare recommendations needed"
Was this for some family emergency?
One woman wrote that she is moving into town this winter and needs to find a full-time daycare for her two-and-a-half year-old to start in January.
Gillian wrote, "There was an overwhelming response to this woman’s post (57 comments to be exact) of other moms in town sharing how 'wonderful their daycare centers were with their children.'
"I am not married, nor do I have children yet, but I know when I do, I will never be one of these moms because of you, Dr. Laura.
"I never want to FaceTime my child. I want our noses touching when we talk."
Gillian is 25.
She makes my heart sing that this generation might get back to valuing their purpose as a mother.
(A related article may be found here.)
Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Listen to Dr. Laura on SiriusXM Channel 111, Mon.–Sat. 2–6pm ET, Sun. 5–9pm ET. Read Dr. Laura's Reports — More Here.
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