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Tags: avoidance | conflict
OPINION

Ghosting: When No Message Is the Message

ghosting and or ghosted

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Dr. Laura By Saturday, 11 May 2024 06:51 AM EDT Current | Bio | Archive

In the last decade I’ve seen an incredible increase in people distressed over falling out with a friend, parent, and even their own children, and having no understanding of why it happened.

These calls are difficult for me because there is nothing I can think of to solve the problem except to say that, sometimes, no message is a message.

Furthermore, if you don’t know why someone has drop-kicked you out of their life, how would you expect me to know?

So, to better understand why it happens, I went to the source — listeners who have actually ghosted someone from their lives.

Why did they choose to end a relationship without explanation?

Their responses were illuminating.

If you’ve been ghosted, this list is for you.

You may claim to not know why you’ve been cut off, but the person who is ghosting you thinks you do, and they don’t want to explain it to you — again.

Several of my callers said the main reason they ghosted was because they saw no point in trying anymore. Previous attempts to address their concerns had just led to defensiveness.

It’s senseless to give you a reason if you’ve shown in the past that you’re not going to listen and learn or do anything constructive with the information given, or if you’re just going to try to defend yourself.

It’s a Family Trait

Kim told me that she believed the reason she ghosted her father was because he had ghosted his own dad over the years.

Elizabeth came from a family where there was always someone not talking to someone else. Has your extended family embraced cutting people off as the way to handle differences?

Always Blaming Others

Have you ever responded to someone who told you they were hurt by your actions or words by saying, "I’m sorry you feel that way"?

Have you claimed your behavior was in reaction to someone else’s?

If you consistently fail to take any responsibility for your part in a conflict, you might be on the road to being ghosted yourself.

Avoidance

Substance abuse, mental health issues, and even physical health disorders can be a challenge for friends and family to handle.

Some people find that avoiding a situation they cannot be helpful with is the best way to cope and protect their own mental health.

Resistance Is Futile

Some people simply shut down because they feel like they’re fighting the Borg.

My caller Dave shared that, after he became a husband and a father, he chose to excommunicate his parents as his only way to escape the drama-filled life he was born into.

Jennifer said she felt her father had chosen his new wife over his children, and that the only way to free herself from the pain of being repeatedly let down by him was to completely walk away.

When people feel that being in a relationship with you offers no upside to them, they might just walk away.

You Asked for It

Have you ever, in anger, told someone to stop calling you?

Darren said when his sister-in-law demanded that he get out of her life, he did just that and hasn’t spoken to her since. Be careful what you wish for.

Ghosting doesn’t happen for no reason.

If it’s happened to you, you’re probably in one of these categories. You probably really do know what the problem is, but you’re having a hard time taking an honest look at yourself.

If you want to work on that, give me a call.

Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Listen to Dr. Laura on SiriusXM Channel 111, Mon.–Sat. 2–6pm ET, Sun. 5–9pm ET.​ Read Dr. Laura's Reports — More Here.

Newsmax May, 2024

© 2024 Newsmax. All rights reserved.


DrLaura
Ghosting doesn’t happen for no reason. If it’s happened to you, you probably really do know what the problem is, but you’re having a hard time taking an honest look at yourself. If you want to work on that, give me a call.
avoidance, conflict
635
2024-51-11
Saturday, 11 May 2024 06:51 AM
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