Tags: alpha | family | male | marriage | narcissists

Yes, It's Possible to Give Thanks in a Thankless Year

giving thanks for medical professionals during pandemic

Cherry Hill, New Jersey - July, 2010: Closeup of a blue lawn sign giving thanks to medical professionals for their service during the pandemic. (Alan Budman/Dreamstime)

By Wednesday, 21 October 2020 04:45 PM Current | Bio | Archive

November brings us thanksgiving. It has certainly been a rough year, and with COVID19, rioting and looting across the country, financial losses, and inability to see friends and neighbors and attend gatherings, it may not seem there is much to be thankful for. I am not going to even attempt to dig out some platitudes to make it all better; it wouldn’t work anyway.

So how about some tidbits of interesting things that have come my way on my SiriusXM 111 radio program. First, some one-liners from listeners and callers and me: "Everything I am fearful about I will figure out" is the mantra I gave one caller to say to herself, so that instead of listing fears she would list solutions.

"Thank you, Dr. Laura, for reminding me that I was worth the pursuit and the wait and there are good men out there who will treat a woman right," from a listener who wanted to save lovemaking for marriage and had gone up against a lot of pushback from men who wanted sex or no relationship.

"It doesn’t matter what she [lifelong mean, controlling, demanding mother] says. It’s time to make what she says 'not matter.'"

When you make vows to a man and create a family with him, the whims of an abusive parent need to be ignored. "I can’t let this take space in my family/marriage/ life."

A caller said that right after having that revelation. "Nothing. I just helped him cry."

A 4-year-old boy was sitting on the lap of the elderly neighbor right after his wife died.

His mother asked him what he said to the man. Really touching. "My husband, a part-time Lyft driver, told me that he picked up a young woman and a little girl under the age of 1. As they got closer and closer to their destination, a daycare, the little girl’s screams and cries grew louder and louder, almost as if she knew that she would be going to a place where she was not loved all day."

This speaks for itself. The husband came home and declared that there will be no daycare for the couple’s future children. They must be loved all day. "Before listening to you, I used to think that an alpha male would be a kind of a jerk. I realize now how this man has had my best interest as his priority. He leads our home in a godly way and lives out his life as an example. He would die for us. I see this as a huge blessing in my life. Thank you."

I try to have women appreciate a real man and to avoid "momma’s boys/narcissists."

"I’ve started applying your ideas and philosophies to my own life. I no longer am anxious over toxic family relationships. I am my husband’s girlfriend. I’ve stopped whining and I do not make myself a victim. You’ve taught me to put on my big girl panties, keep my chin up, and be a woman. Thank you for all the good you do, the truths you tell, and the strength you share."

Well — I am thankful for this support. "Headline in the San Francisco Chronicle: 'Health crisis forcing moms to choose kids over careers.' Wow! It’s a sad world when moms are forced to put their children first."

I had advised a woman on air to strip off her clothes and just stand in front of her husband when he is beyond stressed and anxious and clearly pulling into himself. Another lady wrote in stating she had heard that call and did just that as a last resort to connect and be helpful to her husband:

"I thought that it might help but it is crazy and, ugh, I can’t do it.

"But I bit the bullet and shot off the couch and stood in front of him and then I swung my shirt off and took my skirt off and just stood there, silent like you said, and looked at him. And you are right. He snapped out of it. He looked at me, stood up, and hugged me and we were standing there for a few minutes in silence.

"I could feel him calming down and after being with each other for a few moments talking, he went to bed. I couldn’t believe it worked. It was amazing. It was a powerful moment between us."

So, dear reader, Happy Thanksgiving.

Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Read Dr. Laura's Reports — More Here.

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It has certainly been a rough year, and with COVID19, rioting and looting across the country, financial losses, and inability to see friends and neighbors and attend gatherings, it may not seem there is much to be thankful for.
alpha, family, male, marriage, narcissists
Wednesday, 21 October 2020 04:45 PM
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