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The Comedy of Global Warming

By    |   Tuesday, 08 April 2008 01:54 PM EDT

As the list of global warming skeptics lengthens, the alarms warning of a planet about to be barbecued sounded by the fanatical adherents of man-made climate change grow more shrill and sometimes border on the comical.

This latter feature was recently ridiculed by a parody posted on April Fools' Day by skeptic physicist James Peden where an imaginary eight-year scientific study discovered a link between global warming and tooth decay in children. It sounded exactly like the global warming propaganda that blames everything on global warming.

Wrote Peden "Dr. William F. Green, Senior Project Chemist and a member of the Australian Academy of Sciences, revealed the results of an 8-year study on dental health associated with high natural fruit consumption in children at the annual meeting of the Australian Dental Association in Sydney on March 13, 2008.

“The problem, says Green, is that the increasing world temperatures have significantly changed the ratio between two types of sugar associated with common fruits: Fructose and Galactose. Galactose, which usually combines with Glucose to form Lactose, is normally associated with dairy products and typically not found in large amounts in common fruits, which characteristically are Fructose-dominant in sugar content. But increasing temperatures in the fruit bearing regions of Australia have apparently caused a significant shift in the ratios, with Galactose levels rising in both fruits and grains, whose predominate sugar is Maltose."


Peden added, "OK. It's an April 1 spoof." There are similar real idiocies from Greenies, however. For instance, several years ago an article was published in a scientific journal that warned that global warming would cause an invasion of smaller ants from the sub-tropics to the U. S. The authors seemed to feel that the ants currently resident in the U. S. are just the right size. If there were global cooling, I guess we'd face an invasion of larger ants from Canada. Either way our current edenic state (ant-wise anyway) would be gone forever."

If Peden's spoof seems extreme, consider a genuine alarm recently shrieked by Ted Turner. In all seriousness he warned not against global warming causing tooth decay, but an onset of widespread global warming induced cannibalism 32 years from now when humans will be eating each other because edible crops have been destroyed by global warming.

Contrast that with this from Dr. Benny Peiser’s ccnet contributor John A: "Just imagine, for a moment, what a global emissions trading scheme would look like: no Western democracy would have any control over the price of energy even in its local markets, its entire economy being subject to minute bureaucratic control of everything from the gas heater in the house to energy required to produce steel.

"Without any control of the cost of energy, food prices would inevitably rise and a black market in basic foodstuffs would appear (this is what happened during the fall of the Soviet Union) including a resurgent Mafia-style criminal underclass.

"What then, would be the point of voting for any party? Or of democracy itself? What state could withstand the inevitable social turmoil when basic foodstuffs become more expensive than the poor can afford because the market has been rigged?It is axiomatic that any State, no matter how brutal, must eventually fall when it has lost control of the price of food — witness Zimbabwe right now, or the fall of the Soviet Union, or the fall of Suharto in Indonesia, or the Weimar Republic in the early 1930s."

Note that he's talking about the immediate future, not three decades from now.

Then there was the suspect tale that circulated of global warming causing zebras to lose their stripes.

Even more comical are the efforts of the Goreites continue to insist that the polar regions are warming and the ice packs melting in the face of some very inconvenient facts. Consider the case of one Ben Saunders, who while attempting to break a speed record of walking to the North Pole had to be rescued after his equipment failed in "appalling" ice conditions that included ridges of ice two storeys high.

Saunders told a Plymouth U.K. newspaper The Herald:"The ice conditions I have encountered have been the worst I have ever seen, and worse than I could have imagined."

He recalled dragging his sledge over ridges of ice and snow "the same height as a two-storey building."

This echoes the testimony of two explorers headed for the pole who had to turn back last year as the result of the frost bite suffered by one when temperatures inside their shelter dropped to 58 degrees below zero and outside to under 100 degrees below zero.

The other night up there in the unthawed frozen north, in Nome Alaska, the temperature dropped to minus 4 degrees, with a high of 18 degrees.

This is the region that Mr. Gore and his friends warn is warming disastrously that is actually responsible for the frigid fronts that have been assaulting the U.S. And China and parts of Europe and clashing with the sun warmed air coming northward and creating storms of an unprecedented violence.

This is global warming, or is it just slapstick comedy?

Phil Brennan is a veteran journalist and World War II Marine who writes for He is editor and publisher of Wednesday on the Web ( and was Washington columnist (Cato) for National Review magazine in the 1960s.

He also served as a staff aide for the House Republican Policy Committee and helped handle the Washington public relations operation for the Alaska Statehood Committee which won statehood for Alaska. He is also a trustee of the Lincoln Heritage Institute and a member of the Association For Intelligence Officers.

He can be reached at

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As the list of global warming skeptics lengthens, the alarms warning of a planet about to be barbecued sounded by the fanatical adherents of man-made climate change grow more shrill and sometimes border on the comical. This latter feature was recently ridiculed by a parody...
Tuesday, 08 April 2008 01:54 PM
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